Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't have time to buy a ticket. When I was the conductor, he was a young man so I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I hadn't bought a ticket he said, "Do your top up, I'm gay." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said, "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying, "I'm good" or, "I'm okay", I said, "I'm gay". FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
may_cause_fail 0
Don't flatter yourself.
itsame123_fml 0
uuh.... who does that anywy??? thats sick
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
Timismaster 0
LMFAO at #125. What does YDI mean?
jio_freed 0
haha *****
Beven 0
YDI To all of you saying she's not a ****: "**** ? ?/sl?t/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sluht] Show IPA –noun 1. a dirty, slovenly woman. 2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute." how is flashing cleavage for a free train ride not immoral? but then again if i was a chick I'd probably do the same thing... but no matter it is slutty no matter how you put it.
Wodude 0
#115 Shes being a **** because she's using her body(a sexual part of the body) to get what she wants and get out of a situation that she really should just take responsibility for. Maybe labeling a person as a **** is kind of harsh, but the act is kinda slutty. also, #130 makes a good point too
jagaugga 0
boooooo
Sucks2beYouxD 0
YAY FOR GAYNESS!
ymmot 0
i think i would rather choose lieing than prostitution. Oh ya Gays suck asssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssss!
ymmot 0
130 ur a F****** hipocrite
zredalert95 0
oh well, it didnt work. time to move on in life. and no, your not a ****, you just know that 90% of straight guys would have given you a discount for flashing your cleavage. if people are fooled by it, whatever, use it. i'm a guy, and, shit, i probably wouldn't have made you pay the fine if they were nice ;)
jetstream417 0
Haha, you deserve that *****.