Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't have time to buy a ticket. When I was the conductor, he was a young man so I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I hadn't bought a ticket he said, "Do your top up, I'm gay." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said, "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying, "I'm good" or, "I'm okay", I said, "I'm gay". FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML
Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
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Top comments
may_cause_fail 0
Don't flatter yourself.
itsame123_fml 0
uuh.... who does that anywy??? thats sick
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Comments (178)
snkybstrd 0
You deserved it *****.
hurrdurr 0
Even if he's gay, that is an odd reaction. This problem is most likely that you are just really ugly. Good try though.
Gringo_fml 0
He probably wasn't gay, he got the sight and gave you the ticket, I would have done the same....
Silverwolfeyes 0
People need to back off a little. People make spelling mistakes all the time. It could have been a mis-type, or the person could have dyslexia or something. I do, and guess what i am smart. There is also a big difference between being a **** and doing something slutty. Most people use their looks once in a while. It doesn't make you a **** or anything else as much as people want to say it does. And to #91's comment "women use their femininity to try and charm the world into doing what they want on a daily basis" And men use their strength and their ego and charm too! We have our strong points and we use them. BTW with the exception of this case and a few others, females's sex appeal works because guys are attracted.
Freaky_Darlings 0
Most favorite conductor EVER. Is a bit of bad luck for you ):
Xaos 0
#100: That's not even on a comparable level. :p Seriously, the stories I hear of friends and what they accomplish just by pushing forward those lumps of flesh with nipples on them... you wouldn't believe.
ChetSteadman 0
heh. fail. what a *****
Jareth_fml 0
Dumb.
xenferno 0
damn you must have had some nasty ass ******* for him to turn gay all of a sudden
Kellayy 0
Get owned :P