Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
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Top comments
then000bster 16
Just ask him if he wants one, then deny ever asking him if he wanted one.
Askzombie 14
Illuminati strikes again.
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Comments (103)
perdix 31
I give that movie three thumbs up, if you know what I mean! ;)
neonstarr 15
Haha my bf does that too. Damn Southpark.
worldclassrager 41
Maybe you are slowly going sicsophrenic...(murdered the spelling) Well it's a way to get what he wants but I don't think it will work...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Schizophrenic (only because you knew you spelled it wrong) ;) and I think her boyfriend just wanted a bj :P (not arguing with you).
Honema 16
Why it's this downvoted so much?
lailaxjan 11
Potentially because a quick Google search could have gotten Schizophrenic spelled right.
moneyoverall 3
should never have to ask in the first place
whothewhat 4
Well did it work?
dimespot 5
More ******** equals less annoying behaviour. Fact.
RedPillSucks 33
Well. Get working on giving those blow jobs.
lailaxjan 11
Well, I suppose all that's left now is to give him a *******. He tried to get you to do it subliminally... maybe that's a sign.
6FootUnder 11
Lol that's what's up.
MidnaLink 35
He could just ask, and you could refuse.
kmartFTW 12
Hmmmm.. Blowjobss...
SuperFail55 10
A little to much South Park.