Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
then000bster 16
Just ask him if he wants one, then deny ever asking him if he wanted one.
Askzombie 14
Illuminati strikes again.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
mac8080 7
It's a sign!
harp 9
That's the new Nike ad......Just Do It.....
rockhead1270 5
Google Duckhead
jleo722 7
Will be trying that one!!
skipper2009 18
This is why morons shouldn't watch cartoons.
exoticcat 8
Southpark eh?
sugarbaby9908 20
If he says *******, give him one! It's not that hard
Core5555 9
A relationship isn't about only doing something for your partner when it suits you.
JLDork 11
by your logic, he's also then obligated to do everything she wants regardless of if he wants to. not in the mood for sex? too bad, your partner is.she's not obligated to give him a ******* just because he wants one. strangely enough, women aren't men's sex toys they can turn on when they want.
Meld86 12
I'm going to do this but use the word 'shopping' to my boyfriend
krownman14 4
If you watch South Park, you would get the reference
simon377 6
its sounds like he took southpark too seriously. s15e11. :-)