Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering, "You want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
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Top comments
then000bster 16
Just ask him if he wants one, then deny ever asking him if he wanted one.
Askzombie 14
Illuminati strikes again.
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Comments (103)
nathann24 5
Did he get a ******* that night trick question hell yes
happyfingers 15
lol I like your bf. He's funny. I'd start doing it back.
tommytisme 3
South Park ...
buttcramp 21
your boyfriend sounds like he has a great sense of humor!
SuperStormCindy 8
I can't help but to give your boyfriend kudos, OP. It seems like he's a funny guy. And sucking him off won't kill you so why not do it?
limabeans101029 21
Some girls just really don't like giving ********. If she doesn't want to do it, she shouldn't have to.
JokerJ312 23
That is hilarious!!!
unhappyhug 11
How do you say ******* with so many b's the b at the end kinda finishes the word?
sushzzz 5
he got horny with his honey along... ; )
sushzzz 5
muh mai le... lol: p
awilliams44 9
he was trying to tell u what he wanted
dachayke 16
No shit.