Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine, and that she'd never seen it before. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML
Today, at an MA meeting, I ran into the cop who'd pulled me over and given me a ticket for marijuana possession. FML
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
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Top comments
swaglesshipster 23
Wow, such a great friend throwing you under the bus instead of taking responsibility!
JKW35 21
Time to leave that "friend" behind
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Comments (132)
Lars93 18
well, sucks to be you, I guess :$
milehigh52 22
No shit. That's why there is an "I agree, your life sucks." button.
whitnayfortooh 29
oooo what a coincidence my mother just got pulled over for selling drugs with a baby in the car and now I have a daughter instead of a sister
nitros15 5
Wow **** now that should be an fml
whitnayfortooh 29
#86 I've told some crazy stories for fml and they always get denied...I've given up
Bassist_Ibanez 14
I just moderated an FML of this story. Hopefully it was you that submitted it, as I clicked "Yes".
whitnayfortooh 29
Yea I tried to but as usual it got denied. I submitted it and if someone else submitted it as well and it got published it wasn't mine that was accepted cause I just got the deny email...these people are nuts.
swaglesshipster 23
Wow, such a great friend throwing you under the bus instead of taking responsibility!
Ms_ValS 27
Excellent friend you have there. And you say you are helping her move to her new home? I'm assuming you did not get arrested since you got on FML. I think you should bitch slap her with the bong.
invadermaythe1st 35
She should be like, "Oh yeah I recognise it. Hey, Judy, where do you want this bong placed? I mean, we're moving your stuff to your house after all."
tormcn 26
Bongs are technically sold as tobacco products.. depending on where you live. There's her excuse. It worked for a friend of mine.
R2Y2 22
Not sure if it's OPs car or not, but if it isn't then you have nothing to worry about. In the US, it's the owner of the car that is responsible for what is inside.
thefmlman2011 37
You need new friends, just saying. If that was me, I'd cop the punishment.
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
Not that good of a friend. I hope she did the rest of the moving herself!
Sharpshooterisle 18
What a jerk! I hope you didn't continue to help them move house.
niallo 23
Not only stop helping her, dump all her stuff on the side of the road. You don't know what else she has there.
JKW35 21
Time to leave that "friend" behind
PePziNL 20
But can she still dance?
Megatron_Griffin 25
Pretty much did exactly that. I moved 1300 miles away :) outta sight outta mind
MisterE101 9
#55 that's funny haha
Megatron_Griffin 25
Oh my goodness, I didn't even catch that joke 55 haha. I can dance if I want too, I can leave my friends behind. Cause my friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine haha
Thoricsteam20 24
Stash cocaine in her car later and call the cops, that'll teach her.
MrSassypants 34
Yes because taking the huge risk of getting caught with cocaine to get revenge after being accused of holding a bong is a smart thing to do.
natashamilan 13
21, they weren't being serious..
MrSassypants 34
Oooooohhhhh...... apologies my good sir. I feel like an ass for using my sass.
Thoricsteam20 24
lol
invadermaythe1st 35
its OK sassypants, your sick rhymes helped to save the day.
isawan09 14
A lesson to remember; if someone finds a strange item amongst your things, say it's a gag gift. Just be weary of your friend from now on.
teentee401 37
Or just stop calling her a friend
lyricalservant 21
some friend she got
isawan09 14
Stopping being someone's friend is a lot easier said than done. What if they're in the same friendship group or work together or been childhood friends etc? Better to be civil than hateful. But it depends on the outcome, if OP got into serious trouble with the law, then yes, ditch the friend.
ladyg228 15
With a friend like that who needs enemies
DaEpicTaco 13
What a bad friend hope you are no longer friends anymore