Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, while high, I accidentally sent a pizza to my ex-girlfriend's house instead of my apartment. She has a restraining order out on me. This is bad. FML
Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine, and that she'd never seen it before. FML
Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML
Today, my friend went to go pick up some weed from her dealer. That same day her parents were searching her room, so guess who posted it through my letterbox so their parents wouldn’t find it. Unfortunately, my very religious parents found it and now think I'm being directed by Satan. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to yell out, "Pass the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
They wanted to try out your bong to make sure it was of sufficient quality for their son. Parenting requires sacrifices like that!
Xatraris 38
enclosed typically has a billing card and address along with the shipping. unless she used your info it should be different and easier to explain.
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Comments (21)
RichardPencil 32
They wanted to try out your bong to make sure it was of sufficient quality for their son. Parenting requires sacrifices like that!
Xatraris 38
enclosed typically has a billing card and address along with the shipping. unless she used your info it should be different and easier to explain.
Allie614032 34
Is there any way to prove who paid for the bong? Does it show the last four numbers of the credit card or anything? Or can you prove which URL it was ordered from? There's got to be some way to show your parents the truth.
Allie614032 34
I meant ISP, not URL... the thing individual to the network or computer it was sent from.
Caci Johnson_1334690502 4
IP Address
Ladisa 28
You mean IP. :)
zeffra13 31
If it doesn’t have the billing info enclosed, call them up and ask for it.
thejimhawkins 13
Hell hath no fury... I wonder what you did to make her THAT angry. Got to hand it to her for her creativity.
WeirdUS 30
I've known women that crazy that would have done something like that because you kicked them out for not helping with expenses for the place. Somehow they felt wronged. It definitely can happen.
RichardPencil 32
You ought to send your ex-girlfriend’s mom a massive ***** with extreme anatomical details. The most effective response to crazy is not reason — it’s batshit crazy!!!
kirby1964 20
The “best” response is to let her know what she did worked. That your folks freaked out, and she got you good. Then wish her well in the future, and say you hope she meets a nice guy soon. This will drive her nuts thinking you are the good guy that got away.
WeirdUS 30
Engaging someone who’s vengeful as well as crazy is never the way to go they just take it as a sign to keep doing whatever it is they’re doing
Glowworm56 27
All I can think of now is that video of that young man who ordered a bong--and his mother is right there while he's opening it and he's trying so hard to play dumb, it's painful.
raven_of_azarath 35
Wouldn’t it have come in a nondescript box? Do your parents open your mail?
Lobby_Bee 18
Sounds like your parents are more anxious to test out the bong than you.