Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I took my son to a doctor’s appointment. As we were walking to the office, we saw a homeless man, stark naked, bathing in the decorative fountain. I hurried us inside but unfortunately my son got full view of well everything. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
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Top comments
cdatribe23 0
hahaha sounds like my sister... she's 14.
giantsfan2010 23
I really hope you punished him for that.
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Comments (161)
JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0
Your kid is so smart! Hey, at least he didn't crap on his pants.
johobus28 26
Just sent the poop directly to the source haha. This kid just cut out the middle man
allmidnighteyes 11
he don't give a fuuuuck.
Zebidee 9
Wait. What? You let your kid wander around unsupervised near an open manhole cover?!! You want to thank your lucky stars that this is something you can laugh about at his 21st, not explain to people at his funeral.
starile 20
Seriously! The kid could've fallen in! Less of a "FML" and more of a "Thank God my son didn't die due to my negligent lack of supervision!" At least he hasn't died YET.
JUST_STFU_N_GTFO 0
Maybe the kid was too smart to fall in? << Hell didn't want him, that's the real reason. >xD
xgetxbentx 13
if he makes it to his 21st, if op doesn't start paying attention who knows what danger he may end up in "/
ImaginaryFoe 1
Spot on as usual, zebidee. Letting a five year old wander into a street while you stare in windows is a sure sign of a terrible parent. I can't think of a single exception to that. Open manhole just adds to the glory of your moment, OP. It may be better if you just hand the kid over to the child welfare people now and save them the effort of having to pick him up in a few months.
dcice13 0
thank you. I thought that same thing first. your lucky he didn't fall in. you would no where he went
Epikouros 32
Maybe it was a manhole on the sidewalk and he didn't fall in because he was still holding his mother's hand.
yamarider 0
I know some of these FML stories are fake. This one sounds hard to believe.
chelle_starlight 0
classy :D
xgetxbentx 13
ydi for not watching your child. I realize kids run off, but if you guys were that close to a street, especially one with an open manhole, you probably should have been holding his hand. just be glad he was pooping and not falling in. he could have died.
CallMeHush 1
Heads up down there!
oz83 0
you deserve it for being a bad mother
FYLDeep 26
Why is there just an open manhole in the street? You would think that it would be blocked off it it was being accessed. Sounds dangerous.
SexyGamerNerd110 8
ydi.. you are the one raising him.. and apparently also the one who didn't have an eye on him..