Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, I took my son to a doctor’s appointment. As we were walking to the office, we saw a homeless man, stark naked, bathing in the decorative fountain. I hurried us inside but unfortunately my son got full view of well everything. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
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Top comments
cdatribe23 0
hahaha sounds like my sister... she's 14.
giantsfan2010 23
I really hope you punished him for that.
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Comments (161)
lekiat 0
what kind of son r u raising?
newzealand 28
the man
Kartaleena 0
Oh to let Jason Lee and his Mallrats escalator spiel loose on you OP lol
knibbsy 4
What in the hell are you talking about? I don't understand your comment at all.
inig0m0nt0ya 0
Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.
banananut 0
What a party-pooper.
RandomDudeOrRD 0
wow.
banananut 0
What a party-pooper.
robc32ca 4
see he IS ready to start potty training
percawesome 0
I hope that being five this kid would be potty trained already... though OP doesn't have a great track record so far, so who knows?
Jimboom 12
Fire in the hole!
freethepigs 0
make him eat it. bet he wont ever do it again.
claudiame 0
or a stink?
AlexBuda 0
Your son is my HERO! ^_^
inig0m0nt0ya 0
Orly? I'm just trying to get my kid to shit in a toilet. How'd you teach yours to take out the middleman?