Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML
Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
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Top comments
thelinlinx3 10
Sometimes pussy is better than dick anyway ;P
yodas0da 12
dating a large number of people isn't necessarily something to be proud of. quality over quantity(:
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Comments (190)
Vernetto 8
Better than me. I have no cats and that's more girls than I've been with.
kiwienne 21
This is a pretty boring thing to post :/ sorry
unknown_user5566 27
46- For someone who says to "keep the negative attitude down" in their profile, you sure are a Negative Nancy. I guess the FML community and the mods missed the memo that all FML stories must adhere to your standard of being interesting or funny.
FML_Whale 18
I have more to add! Obviously enough people though it was "FML-Worthy", for it to have been posted. I, personally, don't think it's boring. This comment is completely unnecessary.
kiwienne 21
I never said it shouldn't have been posted, there was just nothing in it to make my mouth into an almond-shape or chuckle. I enjoy the FML stories with surprising elements. Not too much negative in that - I'm not spending most of my time on FML commenting on posts I don't agree with or cuss the OP out. Honestly, I doubt this ruined anyone's mood and I was just wondering if I was the only one feeling like this, but sorry if I seemed super negative and all :)
ALlamaOnFire 20
^^ Looks like you have a potential boyfriend right there ^^
mmbabydollxxx 1
Damnnnnnn. I mean, it's okay! Don't be shy! Meeting new people is always fun!
Mu51kfr34k89 2
Ohh so that's how it works!
Meettitan 14
Shall I tell Ezio, Noor?
1dvs_bstd 41
Your username beat me to the punch. Get a social life CCL!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I have 5 cats and have dated zero girls. Do I win?
sdb023 4
I've dated 2 guys and have 3 cats. Been married 13 years. There's still hope. :)
Aero25 15
The next logical step would be to go make a video on eHarmony I guess?