Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML
Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
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Top comments
thelinlinx3 10
Sometimes pussy is better than dick anyway ;P
yodas0da 12
dating a large number of people isn't necessarily something to be proud of. quality over quantity(:
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Comments (190)
MrAwesomeSauce 6
I hope you're not a 40 year old crazy cat lady
superHydrate 4
I have one cat and it still beats the number of girls i have been with! Just kidding! I dont have a cat but it still beats the number of girls i have been with though!
st0815 9
Nah it doesn't. At best the numbers are equal in this case, 0 does not beat 0.
ygdrassil 17
Evidently, he's been with a negative number of girls. A guy perhaps?
wickedninja918 1
^thats what i was thinking (well that and he has a blink 182 pic as his prof pic)
unknown_user5566 27
Dating should be about quality, not quantity. As long as you enjoyed the few relationships that you've experienced, you should feel no shame. :)
raycj 1
I find you very annoying but that's a nice comment.
unknown_user5566 27
144- I know you do. You've been shadowing my comments for the past couple of weeks, telling me how you feel. But, uh, thanks I guess.
FML_Whale 18
I don't really get the point of the insult inside of a compliment. It was unnecessary.
raycj 1
Lol kyleekay i was in Europe for 3 months and am now seeing what you mean by "shadowing your comments" and I have already scolded my 10 year old stepbrother for using my account to do so. So sorry about that.
TJ1991 3
Actually it doesn't sound like she's ashamed at all. Should probably either learn to read or phrase your posts in a better manner.
unknown_user5566 27
Actually, you should probably learn how to use the reply button before you post.
Delvins 8
I have the same number of cats as I've had girlfriends...I don't have any cats.
cptmorgan6 8
You come home in your dress blues, that'll change.
illmatic2 16
Oorah
Futacy 30
#Forever Alone
Aedus 6
Crazy cat lady.
ManInTheMachine 20
One is better than none, OP. Cherish it's company until it cheats on you with your neighbor. Then go back to your Jar of Hearts depression.
perdix 31
All you have to do is feed cats and they'll stick around. You're going to have to up the ante if you want to ensnare men. Did I say ensnare? Ooops! I meant to say "attract", although in your case, having some chloroform and nice, strong shackles around wouldn't be a bad idea.
TheDrifter 24
While some of us greatly enjoy shackles, proper feeding will keep many men around. I dated a chef for almost a year, just waiting to see how good a professionally made birthday cake could be.
Spectre529 12
Hey does this smell like chloroform to you?
ICastillo 25
At this rate your going to be the creepy old lady that has a fifty cats running around your house when you are older.
ICastillo 25
You're*
FML_Whale 18
Is there a problem with that?
ICastillo 25
Yeah nobody likes the creepy old lady with fifty cats from down the block.
FML_Whale 18
Oh..well that's okay, because I'm the creepy lady with forty cats!
JoeRogansBEARD 15
22 you had it correct the first time... Your = possession, you're = you are
SenselessPattern 12
63 Actually he has two 'yours' and one of them WAS wrong.
Warden1986 16
This is when you get a dog.
duckiegirl21 10
Then she'd still be depressed because she'd still have more pets than boyfriends.