Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
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Top comments
Violet_Illuser 0
I'm sorry, I'm not seeing how this is "ew." I'm laughing too damn hard.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hello there, Richard. We hear you're going to go spend the night your girlfriend, miss Pusé. Is that true? Oh, how scandalous~!
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Comments (192)
dreamchaser 0
lol.. here we go again with the little carrot thing.
jonny2x4 0
OK I think I know where this is going( cue "bow-chicka-wowa music"). He the proceeded to choke Junior till he cried, right?
wwwwwyl 0
You should talk to it as well~~~~~~~that gonna be funny~~~
evangldbrg 0
How is this an FML...If you guys did have sex? You get oral sex and regular sex at the same time...
wwwwwyl 0
You should try to talk to it as well ~~~~~
BleedingAssassin 0
sounds like something 4chan would do
albert26 0
First?
o0ginger0o 7
If that's actually the case for you, you're doing it wrong.
judgeymcjudge 0
I am fairly certain that about 3/4 boys who just read this picked up the nearest pen and went to town downstairs.
plexico 4
The good news: Sharpie pens are not literally sharp. The bad news: They are permanent. A picture of Dick Cheney is not as funny now as it was when I drew it a few years ago.
bballboy91 0
Are you f**king serious????
TonyHighwind 0
As weird as that is, it could be a LOT worse.