Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
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Top comments
Violet_Illuser 0
I'm sorry, I'm not seeing how this is "ew." I'm laughing too damn hard.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hello there, Richard. We hear you're going to go spend the night your girlfriend, miss Pusé. Is that true? Oh, how scandalous~!
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Comments (192)
allmidnighteyes 11
Did it talk back? BRUUUNOOOOOO
feed_the_ducks 0
Oh God that movie traumatized me haha. To the OP...well I bet he was having an interesting conversation.
mastory96 0
lol... well, I'm guessing the conversation went like this: well hello there, Mr. ****. I hear you're going to spend the night in a deep dark cave tonight. remember to put on your coat! ;)
epanssereves 0
Lol my boyfriend did the same thing the other week and started pinching the head to make it talk, it was quite funny tbh
lolwatlol 0
We all do that... sometimes we dress it up with doll clothes and use em to wrestle with our friends'
lolwatlol 0
"and to other guys penises." lolwut
DuxHuntin 0
I bet if you played with it more he wouldn't have to! YDI for being a prude!
damnablefate 0
Well. That's awkward. Not really a FML. I wouldn't say your life is ******. But yeah. Awwwwwwkward.
Procrastinateher 0
Ow wow, that's hilarious as well as really awkward. Though at the same time, just because your husband is naked doesn't mean he's waiting to have sex with you - he could've been getting in/out of the shower is all... I think you should repay him the favour by sticking googly eyes on your....self.
waterynuggets 0
Lmao if i had a dick I'd do that before my SO walked in the room, too
nooseandnail 0
I needed to laugh..it's been a shit day.