Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
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Top comments
Violet_Illuser 0
I'm sorry, I'm not seeing how this is "ew." I'm laughing too damn hard.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hello there, Richard. We hear you're going to go spend the night your girlfriend, miss Pusé. Is that true? Oh, how scandalous~!
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Comments (192)
Nightmare1 0
thats scary! lol. And something even more scary is if the little face puked!! ahhaahhhhhahahahahhahhhahah lmfgdao
tangerine_12 0
that is so ******* hilarious! if i was married or saw my boyfriend doing that, i would just laugh at him. lololol.
phresh243 0
was your husband circumcised if no it is pretty difficult to write on a foreskin
qwerty123456789 0
And you've tried this because...?
tmth0421 0
wow that's had to be super weird
Unlucky_Liruu 0
Haha! Thats gotta be awkward! :D
Bittchhammer 0
what a wonderful, wonderful human being that man is... im jealous
BrEnNo1023 5
maybe he was just lonely, and he was consoling his penis because it missed you too? he sounds like a good laugh. i'd hate to see him when he's drunk though, or stoned... argh. the mind-bendingness of his mind D:
wowyoufail 2
I guess he's Peter his dicks danny aiello..you should walked up with a face drawn on ur pussy and said "hey there young fella ya like Popsicles!? Wanna come inside for a cupcake and a glass of wine? Mmmm"
reativica 0
Well good news is u wont need a shrink all u have to do is draw glasses on it
dancerchik3579 0
that's creepy!