Today, I called my daughter a wimp and insisted her pain can't be that bad. She left in tears. Later, I got a call from her doctor informing me that she has trigeminal neuralgia, one of the most painful diseases known to man. I'm an asshole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
Today, my 21 year-old daughter called crying because she was in pain due to a wisdom tooth. She was angry because she thinks I should have called the dentist for her. She can't get an appointment immediately, so now refuses to celebrate her birthday four weeks away. I told her that she's an adult now. Still my fault. FML
Today, I had a massive, pounding headache. I asked my mom for some painkillers and she said, "No. You don’t deserve pain relief. Ever. For anything." What? FML
TToday, my daughter was hungover, so to teach her a lesson I started banging a pot next to her ear. An hour later, we’re in hospital. She wasn’t hungover; she hadn’t even been drinking. Her migraine was a huge aneurism one sneeze away from bursting and killing her instantly. I’m a terrible dad. FML
Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I was called a "wimp" and a "pussy" for crying and screaming after lightly bumping my hand on a wall. It’s been five hours and it still feels as though my skin is being ripped off the bones in my hand. FML
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year-old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML
Today, a girl in my glass was complaining that her neck hurt. I thought if I forcibly turned her head side-to-side, it would instantly fix it like in the movies. It didn't. She was in so much pain, she couldn't even talk, and had to go to the hospital. FML
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Top comments
JasonThorn 23
Time to apologize. Profusely, and at great length.
PhantomCrevan 8
Why do I get the feeling that the OP will spend a few weeks sucking up to his daughter, then slowly revert back to not believing her when she doesn't get better? Either way, OP is lucky that his daughter wasn't suicidal (or, I would hope not), otherwise he'd likely be short a daughter (which he hopefully isn't) because trigeminal neuralgia has a very high suicide rate, especially in locations with excessively strict regulations on pain medication. Scrape and bow, OP- or do something that says that you believe her, like getting her one of those ice/heat packs that you wear on your head.
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Comments (46)
Akitakat 31
Well, there’s no turning back now. Time to prepare for making up for that huge mistake... a lifetime!
JasonThorn 23
Time to apologize. Profusely, and at great length.
PhantomCrevan 8
Why do I get the feeling that the OP will spend a few weeks sucking up to his daughter, then slowly revert back to not believing her when she doesn't get better? Either way, OP is lucky that his daughter wasn't suicidal (or, I would hope not), otherwise he'd likely be short a daughter (which he hopefully isn't) because trigeminal neuralgia has a very high suicide rate, especially in locations with excessively strict regulations on pain medication. Scrape and bow, OP- or do something that says that you believe her, like getting her one of those ice/heat packs that you wear on your head.
jediloader 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Assholes are a **** hole. And **** holes are fun! You’re fun!
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Just blame millennials. Tell your daughter that her generation’s incessant whining and over-dramatization of every little offense or sleight made you skeptical about her complaints. You’re an asshole because millennials are assholes. That’s a good defense!
Arashikage 18
In your rush to comment on every fml, do you ever look over what you typed before hitting send?
Dave_Davington 34
I remember a time when people here didn't have sticks the size of rafters jammed deep in their arses. What the **** happened to make everyone so ******* prissy?
Leviathene 34
Learn from this.
tonyfan00 38
And the nominees for "Best Parent of the Decade" are...
Tripartita 45
So if the doctor hadn’t called, would you have been fine with that interaction and not posted an FML? You felt justified in calling your kid a wimp, pretended to know how much pain they are in, and are therefore probably an asshole for a few more reasons than you think.
Allie614032 34
Bad Parenting 101... parents like you, who don't believe their children when they say that they are in pain, are the ones who end up without children when their diseases or other medical issues are revealed in the autopsy.
tarabella 7
asshole is too good of a word for you.