Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, I sat down on my bed completely naked in front of my husband and said, "Man, it's hot in here!" while spreading my legs. He just blew on my vagina, asked if that was better, and then walked away. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
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Top comments
Callyn 47
Nudity alone isn't really all that. Did you think to maybe ask him for sex? Or interact with him at all?
RichardPencil 32
Were you laying there like a corpse? Very unsexy — unless he’s a necrophiliac.
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Comments (10)
Callyn 47
Nudity alone isn't really all that. Did you think to maybe ask him for sex? Or interact with him at all?
RichardPencil 32
Were you laying there like a corpse? Very unsexy — unless he’s a necrophiliac.
Charlie Given 28
Well then ya should have started playing with his banana phone 😁
jbuckets_404 39
OP, too bad you didn't get his attention by "playing with yourself" (+ moaning).... :-(
stormy0307 16
When I was in my early 20s I could be ready for sex at the drop of a hat. However I’m noticing that as I age (I’m 30 now), I’m often not really in the mood for it if my wife just comes up to me wanting sex. As I’m getting older I’m discovering that men need foreplay too to be really in the mood for it. I’ve also seen my wife nude so many times, as we’ve been married for a few years now, that just seeing her nude doesn’t do much for me anymore, she’s got to do a little something extra for it to really work for me sexually. Don’t feel discouraged OP, just change your tactics a little and make sure to objectively talk to your husband about his sexual needs and desires as well as yours, make sure you are all on the same page about this.
TxKitten79 10
Excellent advice, sir. communication is so important in every aspect of a successful relation, including sex.
TxKitten79 10
I agree with the person that said "Nudity alone isn't always enough." My husband and I are often naked if the kids aren't home, and we sleep naked. So yeah, just being naked isn't always enough to let Him know I'm in the mood for some sexual attention. In your situation I would have snuggled close and started touching and kissing, or giving a *******. Or said, "I love your c**k, I need you to f**k me!" Guys don't always get subtle hints, and they aren't mind readers. You gotta be direct.
AmbrosiaFan 19
i feel your pain. Guys are so obtuse. You've got to be completely obvious. Next time he does that, roll him on his back, take off his pants, and ride him. He MIGHT get the idea then.
Callyn 47
Or, ya know, ask him. Because what you just described is rape.
zeeba_neighba 10
As my lover says, "You can't rape the willing!"