Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML
Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML
Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
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Top comments
bacincheeseburge 9
In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.
islander03 5
That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......
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Comments (191)
cherryllollo 7
we do that but dont keep pee in there all day. prolly flush every 2-3 times unless we have company over
Calyx_fml 22
What if it's red?
Calyx_fml 22
Damn. Someone already asked that.
Lililthx 7
Let it spread?
luccmon 6
So act like you have poop'd and flush anyway.
withyou_fml 1
Ehh. He didn't make that up. That came from the show "The Game" everyone knows that
Mr25_fml 14
I'd question his hygiene that's one of his rules
pattipan 7
I would also like to point out that women wipe after peeing. If women put the used TP in the toilet, not flushing will, over time, force enough TP to accrue that the toilet will clog when it is finally flushed, particularly since a deuce and more TP is now in the pot. If the women put the used TP in the waste basket, well that is REALLY disgusting, especially if a woman has her period. To keep it hygenic, you'd have to have little bags in the bathroom for the women to put their used TP in. The cost of the bags is probably about even with the cost of just flushing the darned toilet. This was what we had to do in my house and it was just horrible to live with. I was not allowed to leave my TP bag in the bathroom or take it to my room for private disposal at a later date. I had to walk through the house with my bag of used TP so I could throw it in the trash. Imagine parading through your own home with your used TP bag while your brother had a bunch of friends over. It was less humilating to go to the basement, squat over the cat's litter box and pee there. I lived in a house with multiple toilets and was actually peeing in the cat box, which is ridiculous. Toilets are much more eco-friendly now then they were when I was in high school and this was forced on me by my cheapo father. Please, can't we all just flush after ourselves?
loveispain19 4
it sounds gross yeah but when you have a place of your own and have to pay the bills you'll understand.
Black_Rose6 10
OMG that's so weird, my dad just told me that last night! I think they're working together.
clockworklolita 3
That's disgusting. If it's money that's the issue, I'm pretty sure there are more pleasant ways of saving money than leaving piss in the toilet to stink up the house. Ew.
Kcloudnine 0
I feel sorry for you my parent did that rule And still sometimes follows it. It's ****** nasty 7.7 I feel bad for you