Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML
Today, I woke up to a fog. Literally. A pipe burst in my apartment and scalding water was everywhere. To make matters worse, when I called maintenance he told me he'd come by later, hung up on me, and turned his phone off. He did eventually show up, but it was 5 hours later, well after I'd paid a plumber $200. FML
Today, after house sitting for my future father-in-law and managing to keep things spotless for 3 weeks, a pipe burst. It flooded the place and shorted out a plug socket, causing a fire that ruined the front room. He gets home in 3 hours. I'm screwed. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, my partner's father came to give us his old sofa. Now, an hour before he has to leave, he's half-completed 3 DIY jobs we didn't want done in the first place, and smashed my water inlet pipe. I have no water and a destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, I was running water for a relaxing bath. There have been some problems with the town's water for a while now, so I was pleased when the water looked so clear. Right as I thought that, however, the water instantly changed from crystal clear to shit brown. FML
Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML
Today, a real cowboy plumber somehow fucked up my piping so badly that if I turn the radiators on to get warm, none of my hot taps works, and vice versa, and I can’t shower at all because if water goes down my bathtub drain, it overflows the sink in my basement all over the floor. FML
Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML
Today, the maintenance man for my apartment “fixed” my toilet from constantly running. Now it won’t flush. I learned this after I took a huge dump. My boyfriend was over to spend the night. FML
Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML
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Top comments
TwoBytesCarley 27
If you know you’re going to go #2 and you know there’s a bunch of TP in the bowl, why wouldn’t you flush before sitting down? That’s quite literally what we do in our household.
RichardPencil 32
"...and if you get the hunger, use the plunger." Why doesn't that rhyme?
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
"...and if you get the hunger, use the plunger." Why doesn't that rhyme?
TwoBytesCarley 27
If you know you’re going to go #2 and you know there’s a bunch of TP in the bowl, why wouldn’t you flush before sitting down? That’s quite literally what we do in our household.
sarsuela 29
It was a surprise brown, they did not know (or perhaps did not have enough time).
Yudith 28
Have you thought about a bidet? Extoll the virtues of bidets to your friend. Tell him how much she could save in toilet paper if she used a bidet, how ecologic it is, how hygienic it is, how soothing for the sensitive skin down under, etc. Offer to install it for her. If it doesn't make her run to the hardware store to buy a bidet right this moment, buy her one. Then make sure there's always two or three washcloths on the toilet paper hanger and an assortment of small towels in her bathroom. As they say, no matter how you shake or dance, etc.