Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML
Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML
Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bacincheeseburge 9
In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.
islander03 5
That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (191)
suckingatlife 9
That is really pretty gross
AeryFairy 10
I get that it saves water and all. But... what about the splashback? Like, if you drop a deuce and it splashes toilet water, it's unpleasant enough. But if that splashback is made up of your whole family's pee... well...
chrisfrom563 2
This is old. I seen this before
williamcarter93 13
In the words of William Carter: "Damn the house rule, flush the toilet!"
KatieKupcake4195 9
Gross.. Sorry OP. Try explaining to your dad why that's not such a good rule :P FYL
firefighterjohn 9
I know alot of familys that did that. to cut down on the water bill obviously. their house never stunk like piss. if it got that bad just flush it. or close the lid
RAUN 8
How would he know which you did? Does he inspect? Just be sure to leave with the seat down.
emILYissoocool 0
Was your "rule" made due to water shortages on Focker island???
fallensnow143 6
thats unique....?
JordonJaylee 0
Go pee then take a poop because then you can flush so your house doesn't smell of pee or pretend you were taking a poop and then just flush the toilet. It's that simple.