Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML
Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML
Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
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Top comments
bacincheeseburge 9
In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.
islander03 5
That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......
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Comments (191)
conholio33 28
I say flush the toilet i would be grossed out if that rule was in my house..... It grosses me out when i go to use a public toilet (if i have to) and i see thats its not flushed
SoultheWolf 19
What the **** is wrong with your father?
hateevryone 15
don't follow that stupid rule.
TheNinjaBacon 8
Uck that would be the worst smelling air freshener ever
Anchavez2 0
Thats from meet the fockers
jellybeans1 3
and its not a meet the fockers saying... seriously.. iv known that my whole life and so have my childhood friends
shaleen0909 0
113-'It never smelled like pee...?' OMG you better chech if you are peeing only and not anything else.....haha something still undiscovered what you pee...lol
rreyes79 0
This is what you get for havng liberal parents.
mistaj1990 5
Okay, but what if it is green?
jfatula01 0
Mom said same to me ha