Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML
Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML
Today, I walked into a bathroom to find a dad telling his kids not play with the pee in the urinals. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML
Today, I needed a pee while my dad was painting the bathroom and of course he warned me to not touch the wet paint. I started to pee and for maybe the third time in my whole life I did a two stream piss; one into the bowl and one all over the wet paint. I’m writing this hiding in my treehouse. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
Today, I’m staying with a friend who believes in, “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, only brown gets flushed down.” Well, her 3 or 4 mellow yellows with accompanying paper prior to my surprise brown caused the pipe to clog. Oh and the extractor fan doesn’t work either. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
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Top comments
bacincheeseburge 9
In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.
islander03 5
That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......
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Comments (191)
MrLoux 6
My one flatmate does the same. One of the reasons I'm glad I'm moving...
VannaLa 7
Leave tampons in the yellow, see what he thinks about that.
random1368 0
Meet the Focker's strikes again.
lea3829 7
eww lol
mojjo21 4
Lol that's our camper rule so we can save water and sewage room!
Cathrin 26
I'll admit to being a skeptic. We have a similar rule but we flush it once we start to smell it from sitting down on it, which takes quite a while, and it rarely does so before either mom or I go number two. If it "mellows" enough to stink up your whole house, you might want to go to the doctor about why you're not going number two for so long.
EverdreamOfMe 24
This. We have the same rule, yet our house doesn't sink. Probably because we close the toilet lid and aren't constipated like 99% of people, so the toilet gets flushed before it starts to stink. Who cares if some people think it's gross? It helps the environment and that to me is more important then avoiding disgusting some people. People should at least try it before assuming it's going to stink their house, if it does cause odors then just start flushing it again.
JessicaSki 12
It's a good rule to live by, and it's very unlikely that your house will smell bad before you flush it. I agree with #190
merrielp 13
That's the rule in my house. Why waste water? Why be ashamed of dropping a deuce? Everyone does it.
Peacelove0404 26
Omg my dad said the EXACT same thing!
Gurman 3
honey boo boo..