Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML
Today, my dad read that if you pass gas from both ends at the same time it will create a vacuum inside your body and you'll implode. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
Today, right before my hubby got home and walked into the bedroom, I farted. The smell was so bad that he thought he'd stepped in shit and to looked at the bottom of his shoes for dog poop. I laughed so hard, but with a horrified look he asked, "How"? He says I've got to see a doctor. FML
Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML
Today, my dad was stupid enough to think that the kitchen sink is a good place to clean a gas tank. Now, the whole house smells of gas fumes and I'm about to pass out. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
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Top comments
Levi2411 41
He needs a warning sign: Welcome to the gas chambers
Mungolikecandy 19
If this new medicine is causing significant incidents of incontinence it does not sound like it is working.
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Comments (12)
Levi2411 41
He needs a warning sign: Welcome to the gas chambers
tre tre 5
That's hilarious
RichardPencil 32
At least your dad has a sense of humor about his disease. They say laughter is the best medicine — it’s certainly better than the one that’s causing him to shit his pants. Pro-tip: head to a surplus store for a gas mask.
Lonneke Hofstee Dünki 3
https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/walgreens-anti-diarrheal-caplets/ID=prod6102113-product One each day and he has no more problems
alycion 39
Yeah, that doesn’t work for many Gastro issues and cab actually be very dangerous for long term use with certain conditions. I would also imagine otc meds were tried first.
Glowworm56 27
I think this is more of an FML for Dad. At least he sees the bright side of this and thinks it's hilarious--which it totally is.
Justin Allan Bannister 9
stinks, doesn't it?
Mungolikecandy 19
If this new medicine is causing significant incidents of incontinence it does not sound like it is working.
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
I think your dad needs to tell his doctor that the meds are doing this. It’s not a normal side effect.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
sounds like a shitty person to me maybe you should dutch oven his ass
BEEEEES 15
That made me lose my shit.