Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I was sitting behind a cute girl in class. She said she liked musicals, so I played The Greatest Showman at full blast on my headphones. She turned around and moved seats. FML
Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
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Top comments
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
If it's war she wants, it's war she gets. Popcorn launcher? Check. Friends to your left and right armed to the teeth with popcorn and/or condiments? Check. List of suggestive names to call her that are borderline offensive? Check. Feet ready to kick the seat at regular intervals? Check. Let the games begin.
rambles 0
wow! what assholes!!
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Comments (120)
Postlude 1
As if going to the movies wasn't already a trying experience. I hope that woman gets some karma back her way because that's just rude :/
No_Heart 0
I really hate to be the one who has to tell you this, but i guess if your old enough to comment on fmylife then your old enough to find out the truth, i'm sorry but there is no such thing as karma, you had to find out some day.
xxreikoxx 31
The proper philosophy is 'what goes around, comes around.' Everyone knows this already.
polico_wolf 0
actually there is. Its a bad coinsidence that happens after you do something bad to somebody.
judemeister 0
I believe in karma. My boyfriend was cheated of some change in a shop once, and when he was walking along the road, he found a five just lying on the ground. In my opinion, that's karma. Plus, I love My Name is Earl :)
Plumppotato 3
so because you dont believe in karma, it doesnt exist? that doesnt seem fair, considering how karma is built into several religions (e.g. Hinduism).
lem0n_fml 0
Plumppotato, if someone doesn't believe in karma, well yeah, they're gonna tell you it doesn't exist. Does that mean that karma actually doesn't exist? No. But they simply don't believe it does. The idea of nonexistence is kinda the whole definition of not believing something.
judemeister 0
You can't exactly tell me that I shouldn't believe in something simply because you don't. Last time I checked, I was entitled to have my own opinion.
Tigg3r 3
there's also no such thing as ain't either. English people english..
TallMist 32
No_Heart, you may not believe in karma, but other people might and you really shouldn't put people down for believing in something you don't. I mean, really. Would it be a safe bet that you're one of those atheists that comment on every post everywhere online about Christianity to say God isn't real and people need to grow up for believing in said God?
TallMist 32
(Re-edited to comply with the rules of FML) No_Heart, you may not believe in karma, but other people might and you really shouldn't put people down for believing in something you don't. I'm not looking to start a fight. Just to say it's not really wrong to believe in something. :)
kittykat1501 31
94, ain't is in the dictionary!
tmdkiller 0
If i were you, i would throw my popcorns on them and apologize saying i had spasms. But of course that is if they persist.
arielhoee 9
Why were you leaning left & right anyways?
somnula 9
to see around her tall head
InstaKarma 0
Oh, I do apologize. The FML app I am using didn't run the spell check on that word because I used the quotation marks. I do know how to spell 'accIdentally.' Lay off.
gina_m491 0
You should've kicked her in the back of the head
musicislife1995_fml 0
I hope you kicked them in the backs of the head... orat least throw popcorn at them
mizu22 0
that sucks, throw popcorn next time
Hermyoni 0
So then you went and found an usher and told them what was going on. .... or did you just take it and pay to not see a movie.
yes_im_hater 0
you deseve it for saying "cinema"
snafu57 1
Personally, they sound great. I think it's the start of a beautiful friendship.