Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say, "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML
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Top comments
smile2312 16
oh goodness, what happened after???
carebear1228 20
another victim petrified by thier father's basilisk.
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Comments (117)
creepyclowntown 10
That sucks,I don't think I could handle my dad saying anything to me for awhile
allyiscute1 22
I really want to know what happened after like did you just turn the light off and run back to your room did you TALK about it?!:O
vikky538 29
Just imagine... What would happened to your mom is she was there... I am hoping your dad is expecting your mom at that time...
ShowMeKay 20
I don't think OP wants to imagine what her parents would be doing lol
Jflowers9296 14
At least all you did was hear him speaking and the sound a zipper. :/ still bad though sorry OP
PANDORUM89 21
F both of your lives! seriously that has to be so awkward saying that to your daughter. gives me the heebies.
SabrinaEpic3 15
I am laughing SO hard right now! X'DDDD I'm sorry but this made my night!
persianchick 13
I feel so bad for you
mds9986 24
Today, my wife said she wasn't feeling into sex this morning, so I went downstairs to watch tv. Soon after, I heard the door open so I said "I knew you'd change your mind, get them panties off" and unzipped my pants. It was my daughter. FML
LycanGod 27
wow talk about the beginning of nightmares lol
Hop6e 22
Ohmigawd. Ohmigawd!! OHMIGAWD. You poor thing. Are you okay? Did u say something? What happened? R u both still talking? At least you know now your parents are totally into each other...