Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say, "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML
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Top comments
smile2312 16
oh goodness, what happened after???
carebear1228 20
another victim petrified by thier father's basilisk.
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Comments (117)
gosh_mate 30
*muffled scream and footsteps running back up the stairs*
theweirdobot 12
Oh, Texas.
Miss_Whipped 43
Oh, ignorance.
tormcn 26
"Yeah. I change my mind. I'm going back to my room"
soulxreaperx356 9
could be worse, he wasn't talking to you :p
Spentpoet 26
Op changed her mind alright!
Thoricsteam20 24
Your profile picture scares me.
moniqueminx89 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh my god, I actually laughed at this one and so did my husband. It's okay OP, in time you'll probably walk in on your parents having sex or something and that will completely override this horrifying moment for you.
shay_serendipity 29
... I don't see how that would make anything any better.
itslaelae 17
Wtf is wrong with you
cadillacgal79 32
Not to rain on your parade, but I think I'd rather accidentally walk in on my parents than have my dad mistake me for my mom and immediately have his pants off...
clairesucks 37
Is it normal to not have ever walked in on your parents having sex?
randomcritic 14
That sounds worse--not better.
proudsock 17
OP you must tell us what happened afterwards. That's both mortifying for you and your dad.
alliegraywords 13
At least you heard the sound of the zipper BEFORE switching on the light, OP.
Fmlsea 28
yes! cause that would've of made the situation way awkward then it already was .
stieglar 17
Oh no lol
FalloutScrolls 25
On the bright side, today is Prime Day at Amazon, so you could see if brain bleach is on sale.
vikky538 29
Good one
mds9986 24
Yeah but you have only 3 seconds to buy it before it's 100% claimed