Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kept smelling the pleasant odor of baking bread while driving around. Tonight, I realized that the smell of yeast was actually coming from a cup of moldy smoothie that got missed and left in a cup holder in the back of my car. FML
Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML
Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of "Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind." FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year-old. FML
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Vigilante justice from the muffin man.
perdix 31
Thank you for supporting law enforcement and public safety. Fines don't change speeders' behavior very much, but being pelted with foul-tasting baked goods is a sure cure of the lead foot.
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Comments (81)
sweet_candy_ 17
Next time make cupcakes :)
aquastar 0
cupcakes are yummy :)
filo22 0
Add some 420 to your muffins, I bet he'll learn love your baking.
sallen0046 4
Men are like children when it comes to things like this - you need to ask if he wants and likes them before you keep baking them up. They won't tell you they don't like something because they're afraid they'll be in trouble if you've already gone through the effort.
Choconumm 8
Maybe the people he saw driving looked hungy!
Taq_fml 0
Is your husband a police officer?? Because I KNOW I would slow down if a muffin too discusting to eat was throw at my windshield! "Ma'am, instead of a ticket, I'm going to give you this muffin my wife made me. Please, take it!!!"
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Discusting?
sublime2craig 0
Wow I would kill that **** if he gave me a drive by muffin.
Gr1mr3ap3r 4
lmfao
teeaitch 2
I hope he's at least paying attention to your other muffin, the tasty one.
smr167 6
god bless newlyweds
onecoycoyote 0
omg that's a new meaning to stud muffin he's totally in control stop baling
inkdot 8
XD thats so funny!