Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I kept smelling the pleasant odor of baking bread while driving around. Tonight, I realized that the smell of yeast was actually coming from a cup of moldy smoothie that got missed and left in a cup holder in the back of my car. FML
Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML
Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of "Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind." FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year-old. FML
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Vigilante justice from the muffin man.
perdix 31
Thank you for supporting law enforcement and public safety. Fines don't change speeders' behavior very much, but being pelted with foul-tasting baked goods is a sure cure of the lead foot.
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Comments (81)
Nadinek98 0
okay?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well op, maybe it's just muffin butts! no one likes muffin butts, so why not play a little game? :D Now if he's throwing out the tops too, you've got a problem. If you're not already, you should buy the pre-made mix and follow directions carefully! Now does your husband have some sort of mental handicap? if so, there may be a rare (very [extremely] rare) possibility that (and imma hate myself for saying it) he might not like muffins :( if so then FYL.
ng7899 0
QUUUUUUEEEEERRRRR
sugarr0babby0 0
So he likes throwing muffins at speeding cars? Alright..
Bosia 0
What a waste! They should have been used for throwing at the mailperson when they repeatedly got the house address "wrong" and delivered that Playboy magazine subscription in front of his wife.
tmd4L 7
it's a jersey thing.
fakeaccountX 6
There's only 1 muffin he cares about, anyway.
iTaylor 0
HAHAHA nice 50
punkylemon 4
13 I love your picture!
mrfuzzywiggles 11
I wish I got muffins every morning. But seriously this isn't an fml. You gave him the muffins even though it's a waste, he can do whatever the hell he wants to do with the muffins.
ghostychi 9
That sucks. Why isn't he man enough to tell you your baking stinks.
MonkeyMan03 0
would you prefer and angry bitchy woman yelling at you?
badintentions 0
maybe when he told her he wanted some muff in the morning she got confused & started baking.
b00paul 0
lol how exactly did you find out?
TheShard1994 5
hahahah I hope she drove somewhere and saw her man throwing a muffin towards her car x'D
InBetweenDreams 0
LMAO...That would be too funny! At least the husband has a sense of humor :)
FYLDeep 26
Vigilante justice from the muffin man.
annadorkable 0
Learn to bake better . But i would do something like that for fun .
YouHaveFailed 0
Thats funny. he must have a good sense of humor
TXjuggalo972 6
lol wtf haha
RainbowBitch15 11
#8: whoop whoop! mmfwcl! OP: your husband is AWESOME.
TXjuggalo972 6
whoop whopp mcl
TXjuggalo972 6
*whoop
RawrBunneh 0
Haha, well at least it's not going to waste(:
KoRnLeader 0
should have made him a SAMMITCH!
perdix 31
Thank you for supporting law enforcement and public safety. Fines don't change speeders' behavior very much, but being pelted with foul-tasting baked goods is a sure cure of the lead foot.
poppyseed420 9
haha win