Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I kept smelling the pleasant odor of baking bread while driving around. Tonight, I realized that the smell of yeast was actually coming from a cup of moldy smoothie that got missed and left in a cup holder in the back of my car. FML
Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML
Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of "Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind." FML
Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML
Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year-old. FML
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML
Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Vigilante justice from the muffin man.
perdix 31
Thank you for supporting law enforcement and public safety. Fines don't change speeders' behavior very much, but being pelted with foul-tasting baked goods is a sure cure of the lead foot.
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Comments (81)
powpowpowbitch 6
Today, on my way to work, a muffin smashed all over my windshield. It was 20 degrees and raining outside. I now have frozen muffins all over my windshield, which is in a ditch somewhere on the highway. FML
dpjbbm 1
Omg 2day i got hit by a muffin small world :)
Nightowlflies 26
Did you see which car OP's husband was in?
frear 0
Oral sex will made your muffins amazing, just give it a try.
shadmed 0
How do you know? Do you leave your information on the muffins and then people call you? I'm just curious.
Ardn 0
I'm guessing he's going to be going without breakfast, lunch and maybe dinner from you for a while.
Koto 1
Well someone's got to do it.
fishboy123 7
i thought he lived in the hood
wollzilla 0
hahahahaha legend
EmilyIsLHAO 0
hahaha 68
SexiShay615 0
... and how exactly did u find that out??? lol haha jw!