Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML
Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML
Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
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Top comments
GIRAFFES 0
That's not awkward at all.
Tubasaurus 0
Well, did he return the favor?
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Comments (125)
UGADawg08 1
Gotta love the sickening double standard that exists in our culture. If a man did the same thing to a woman, he'd have his pants sued off for sexual harassment. Reverse discrimination is pretty damn nauseating.
theanonimouse 0
someone here sounds like a bitter middle class white man. :)
inu_fml 0
men don't have breasts.
totes_sucks 0
A moob isn't the same as a breast. It doesn't have the same sensory connections, function or sexual connotations that a woman's breast does. That's why a man would get sued. Not because of double standards. Things that are different can be treated as such. Plus this FML is funny as hell!
adamluverr 0
Lmao #54 haha "new". I love this one!
ellysa_fml 0
WTF
nicoleg_fml 0
this made my day. i can picture this in a movie scene or something : D
PureFLCL 0
I saw that happen on Family Guy
Gretta_J 1
Oh man, I laughed -so- hard at this. Definitely my new favorite FML. But, um, I hope you two are close friends. Just not in a groping sense. :)
philosopher 0
There is something -seriously- wrong with you... Well, I laughed my ass off regardless.
an_account 0
how can you accidentally put your hand on his moob? it doesn't really make sense... even if you had your arm round his shoulder it's impossible that your hand was lying low enough on his chest to touch his moobs.. it seems like you wanted to touch it to begin with!
thedrumsthedrums 0
You should buy him dinner after..was it good for you?
El_Oh_El 0
I just LOL'ed irl.