Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML
Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PlasticShark 0
YDI for even wanting to pat the belly in the first place... that's just... disturbing... =
sarah8909 0
So the jewels were sticking out where you were patting or you just didn't bother looking and decided to pat him in that general area? YDI
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (203)
sarah8909 0
So the jewels were sticking out where you were patting or you just didn't bother looking and decided to pat him in that general area? YDI
rwac07 0
WTF was he awake? 0_0
hwkfan1 10
the apple never falls far from the tree lolz
danyfuckinheatle 0
YDI. fourth!! :D
MiGman 5
op that was a huge ass fail
iEnvade 2
162 - It does not make you forth by commenting on the first comment simply to get your comment to the top.. you're still one hundred sixty second. Nice try.
turkishjew 0
and now you're scared for life
Bravo11 14
Why'd he let you pat twice?...o.O
ManlyDunsparce 3
182- she went back for seconds.
PlasticShark 0
YDI for even wanting to pat the belly in the first place... that's just... disturbing... =
spankos 1
maybe the dads a buddha.
supersitter 11
#165, you read my mind
Scars_fml 4
Was it hard?
btnhdude 0
I'll tell you what's hard... my fists, hitting your face.
esines 9
I hope his balls weren't hard
reset_button 0
Did he reciprocate?
vxjazz 0
Yuk.
cdatribe23 0
this made me 'ewwww' out loud.
teenagedream13 1
Haha me too!
hanacurse 11
**Yuck.
hpnerd 0
You're completely creepy for doing that in the first place. YDI completely. Who pats their father's bare stomach?
breadfuck 0
I do
btnhdude 0
awesome daughters do, you boring hamster. the balls were an accident though
blondbrunette916 0
nobody said anything about it being bare
marz88 0
How the hell can you not notice the difference?
vxjazz 0
#8- You are SCARY!
Yayap_fml 0
Um, go back to the part where you pat your father's fat... That's... weird...
blb1989 0
Today, I rewarded my father for having a huge bulge by smacking his junk around a bit. FML