Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my wife invited 45+ people to her baby shower, but literally 4 people came. Now I get to deal with my pregnant wife and her fluctuating hormones. FML
Today, security had to break up a fist fight in the labor & delivery unit. After giving birth, my roommate was attacked by the baby daddy’s wife. However, a second man was also there and started fighting the couple. It was a total melee so I grabbed both babies and hid in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML
Today, I attended my husband's holiday brunch at a company I also used to work for. I was excited to see former coworkers until one raced up, grabbed my belly, and in front of a crowded room, exclaimed, "You're pregnant!" Nope, just older and a bit fatter. FML
Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML
Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML
Today, my mother-in-law invited all my wife’s friends and family, and my family, to her baby shower, well over a 50-60 people. Two people came. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Did his daughter have to leave her ACT prep class early to collect his sorry ass and pay for the damages?
Mideoyeo 12
That's not cool, but on the other hand congrats for becoming a mother soon OP!
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Comments (88)
Satoaoi 13
how embarrassing
dabeast15 7
Who the hell serves alcohol at a baby shower? Just saying
SansVostro 7
why were they fighting? both claiming to be the dad? :(
PaddyCake 2
Breaking Bad.
evalu8tor 12
Any damage to the double wide?
SnoochBoochie 14
Another drunk baby shower. Mom, have fun with your girlfriends and get all giddy. Dad, go to the bar with your friends. Why did this ever change?
yourlordsays 8
even though it's quite unusual to serve alcohol at a baby shower, you friends' husband is still responsible for his own drinking, so I can't blame you.
thewife5 19
Whatever people. We have co-Ed baby showers all the time with alcohol. We don't get in fist fights... But why not turn it into a party? Not my fault the guest of honor is knocked up.
hjnd2396 14
What in the hell are men doing at a baby shower? That's the problem right there.
squeamishacorn 14
Who won?