Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I flew home to visit my parents. We haven't seen each other in two years, I've gotten a few tattoos done since, and I knew they wouldn't approve, so I bought whole new outfits that covered everything and looked professional. When I got there, the first thing my mom says to me is, "Is that a nose ring!?" FML
Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "So when are you getting that nose job?" FML
Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML
Today, I spent my first day with my parents for the first time in a year as I've been away at university. My dad went to work, and my mum spent the whole day playing mahjong with her friends as they all told me "how fat I've gotten" and how "boys won't like it". FML
Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML
Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML
Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML
Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML
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Top comments
Becca_Bear_98 19
well it does supply more cushioning if she ever falls front forward . . .
xlord 27
Anyone in a loving relationship will tell you. It's all about the personalitits.
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Comments (76)
Animekid126 13
Who cares if it was her choice? The point is that it's awkward
AngryD 9
well that's awkward silence material for your first night home
Bragi 12
Awkward certainly, but hardly worth complaining about.
rabbidpichu 11
Thats wierd..
mkayden 23
Does your mom happen to be the mom in Mean Girls?
zombraingirl 11
The majority of women get breast augmentation to have people look at it. Not all but most. Hell if my mother had her boobs done, even I couldn't help but stare!
xaru 21
Oedipus Complex anyone?
Merridew 8
Why did you study abroad if you live in the US?
Brandi_Faith 34
When he says "study abroad" it usually means taking some courses or a program in a different country. It doesn't mean studying for a test of a course he is taking in the states. A lot of people do this because it's a good opportunity to travel.
Merridew 8
I would just LOVE to study in the US ))
RedPillSucks 33
Daddy's got a squeeze box?
gabagabaheyu 10
you were staring at your mother's breasts?