Merde alors !
Today, I went on a long overdue vacation to France with my husband and young daughter. As revenge for an earlier prank, my sister has apparently taught my daughter to swear profusely in French. FML
Today, I went on a long overdue vacation to France with my husband and young daughter. As revenge for an earlier prank, my sister has apparently taught my daughter to swear profusely in French. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my husband's recent business trip to France was actually a filthy holiday in Blackpool with my sister. FML
Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML
Today, on my long-awaited vacation, I got a phone call from my sister. Her childhood friend died. She bawled on the phone, and my plans were ruined. My husband said it was selfish of her to do such a thing when she knew we were on vacation, so she ramped up the drama times ten. She and her friend used to bully me. FML
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my mother disowned me because I wouldn’t fill out her visa application for France so that she can see her boyfriend. The reason why I refused was because my husband and I are on our honeymoon, and would like to spend some time together. I guess that makes me a “useless” daughter. FML
Today, after we got married five months ago, my wife and I planned a trip to France and Spain as a honeymoon. We’re supposed to be leaving on Saturday. She just told me last night, “I am so not looking forward to the trip.” FML
Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML
Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML
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Top comments
uncbballwins 0
Pardon her French!
PrickHead 0
merde!
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Comments (145)
guy0ne101 0
cool story bro
uncbballwins 0
Pardon her French!
babyyappld 7
this is pure win
muhaidib 2
petite putain!
princessRiRi97 0
Vas te faire encule pute says daughter! Translation F*** u b****
littlemissFYL 5
no worries OP, now your daughter can get away with cursing in french at school. this is something we all should have been taught. ;)
ifyouseekamy666 0
hahaha yes :p
JSBach25 0
I see what you did there.
HeavyMetalViking 0
It seems that your sister is quite the cunning linguist.
eatmyshortssss1 8
I don't think you're puckering your lips enough
storyoftheyear36 0
lol what else could it be besides winning
lilmissfail 0
ton réponse est vraiment intelligent. et oui je te parle en français pour ton confusion. anyways.
Reninji 0
French fail. It's "ta", not "ton" and there's a "e" at "intelligent"
partake_fml 2
no, you don't
Mustardnight 3
none of you know what you're talking about. what do they teach you guys in school? pathethique.
gwadafiesta_fml 2
She's kinda lucky though: once she'll come back to the US people will adore her for speaking french, even if it's rude ( don't know where that adoration comes from btw) Mais putain de merde, les enfants de nos jours !
lerouxmaster 7
107 Google Translate shouldn't be your friend that much. It shows !
ananaskiller_fml 5
wow, va apprendre a parler français comme du monde avant d'écrire de la marde, osti de grosse truie! let's go try to translate this, you will see that google traduction isn't as good as you thought
brenz1126 0
112- grammare nahtzieh (thats how u say it in fronswah dont doubt me bitch)
Felix_Felicis15 8
143, I'm pretty sure fronswah (sorry guys, I'm not sure how to spell it exactly...) is a name. I take Spanish, but "French" is francés in Spanish and I'm fairly sure it is very similar in French. I think it has one of those "ç" accents, right?
mozeltov 7
what kind of grown up teaches a young person to swear? completely irresponsible and inappropriate.
ritbbehindu 0
lol nice pic
mozeltov 7
I appreciate that, yours is quite appealing as well
EverybodyHatesCh 0
hahahahaha that pic is funny!!!! to bad it wasn't my cat
HubertPL 0
wow it's prank and it's funny and it's sad how your incapable of comprehending that not everyone is a stuck up conservative bitch like you
uncbballwins 0
18- You shouldn't have dropped out of school.
booboojlc 0
I totally agree with 18! For real have a sense of humor!
CitrusGirl 0
18- I wanted to go all grammar Nazi on your ass, but I feel certain you are already a lost soul to stupidity.
sterlingarcher 1
ahaha I find it hilarious! :D
Krilleee 5
okay mom ....
Boredumm 6
it's not that she has no humor, I agree it's inappropriate to teach children to swear, my dad taught my nephew to swear and now he thinks it's okay to swear at his grandfather and parents, an he disrespects them. so until you have children of your own and have to deal with them daily, you don't know what it's like. -_-
Bobissmall 13
Can someone explain why #3 has so many thumbs down? I think he is completely right...
maseybear_RAWR 0
yeah, but so funny, so who gives a dammn?! haahaahaahaa i think its HILARIOUS
maseybear_RAWR 0
i agree with 18. learn how to have a sensee of humor!
Boredumm 6
123 not really tell me how you would feel if a little kid swore at you and all you can do was take it I mean if you swear back ppl are going to say oh what's this adult/teenage doing arguing with this little child for? swearing is like one of those little steps where the kid turns into a brat that thinks their all tough because they can swear.
nwatso96 0
I find this funny and disrespectful. 128- I agree with you. if I had a young child I wouldnt want them to swear. I'm 12 and my mom doesn't even let me swear so 128- ur right
A7X_LoVeee 10
Damn I don't understand why you received so many negative votes. I completely agree with you. When I read this, I imagined the girl to be no older than 10 but maybe that's just me. An adult should not be teaching a young kid like that to swear. Now if she was older then meh not so bad but it was implied to me that she's a youngster.
jazziness 12
I agree with #18 until the whole conservative stuck up bitch part
Boredumm 6
rofl I mean look at 18 and 130 they can swear fine but can't spell for shit
ethang1996 0
it's in FRENCH. it's not like it really matters. you're a moron.
PrickHead 0
merde!
lntreis_fml 0
20- haha I speak french as my first language and I don't think i've ever heard anyone say that seriously :P
Lovelia_fml 2
Putain! Va te faire foutre !
Lustuu_fml 14
78 - I'm french, maybe it was still used in the 60's or by old people o/ Come on, all together children : Putain de merde! I hope OP's sister has learn "Vas te faire .." to her niece. Merde alors.
PSQ91 6
Waiter: Et que puis-je t'amener jeune fille? Daughter: Des frites et un coca espèce de connard! Allez bouge ton cul!
lilmissfail 0
I love how all the French swear are related to the church and all the English ones are related to sex. or stuff that comes out of your body
raphanne_fml 33
I'm French and bad words in French are not related to the Church...They are pretty much related to sexe :D
Lepetitpouce 0
It's in Canada that the insults are related to religion.
lerouxmaster 7
Ostie de criss de tabarnack de calisse. Saint-ciboire de simonak. Greetings from Quebec :)
nicocaca 0
oh connard de ta race je te demande si ton salop de frère met des slips ou des caleçons ?!?
abnormalbird 11
translation:shit, you are welcome.
tourtinet_fml 14
I'm French and I say "merde" between friends or in Family, it's less coloquial that "putain"* ( that we use fluently. It's like a interjection, but a coarse interjection) *but it's colloquial even though, we say not this in class, even less with the headteacher
guy0ne101 0
cool story and btw mods are ideuts
borkchop1992 15
i wanna **** you in the ass in the ass...!
Zebidee 9
Obscure referencing gold! Best. Ad. Ever.
Walkert2301 0
hey dumb ass u couldn't **** a dead dog in the ass if u wanted to so **** off
Bon3less 0
53- It was funny. If you don't get it, don't comment on it. And I know you're trying to sound all cool with your profanity, but you sound like a drunk highschooler.
Zebidee 9
#53 - Herp ******* derp. At least Google stuff before you mouth off about it.
megz21 0
what was the point of this comment... trying to sound cool?
Bon3less 0
#91- I may be mistaken, there was a foreign ad campaign for an English-speaking program, and it featured a family that did not know English listening to that on the radio.
borkchop1992 15
103 is right
Hotlanta 5
hahaha that is kinda a good prank if you think about it and hey at least OPs daughter is learning an other language lol
mrahhhhh 21
Please. With the relations between France and Britain the way they are now, you would have met a few assholes anyway. DISCLAIMER: Mr. Ahhhhh does not hate the British or French. Mr. Ahhhhh knows that there are unfortunately assholes everywhere who would hate you just cause you're American, Indian, Martian, Merman, etc.
MyHandIsADolphin 0
You got a great husband
XAnNiHiLaTiOn 6
how do you know. if you read properly it's the sister of the op who taught the daughter the swear words.
jakeisawake 3
Because behind every cute, little girl who swears in French is a great husband who offered his very own penis pudding to create such a delightful child.
perdix 31
You should put this one on Vie de Merde, because your kid is probably already saying it.