Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML
Today, I found out the person who's been stalking and harassing me online was actually my now ex-boyfriend. He only confessed as I finally picked up the phone to report it to the police. He basically said he wanted me to turn to him for comfort and protection, so he could "feel like a man". FML
Today, I had a long talk with my now ex-boyfriend. I explained why I'm not comfortable with him bringing up his new female coworker multiple times a day, talking with her about their kinks and fetishes, or possibly being around her outside of work. We've been together for nine years. He's only known her for a week. FML
Today, my (now ex) boyfriend and I had a fight, during which he said, "This is why I talk to other girls." I called him out for admitting to cheating and he told me I was toxic. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on his final exam. I confronted him after class by jokingly asking, "If you cheated on a test, would you cheat on me?" Turns out that yes, yes he would, and he did. FML
Today, I found out just how bad my boyfriend's trust issues are, thanks to him being cheated on in the past. He actually had the nerve to ask his 6 year-old son if I had any other men come over while he was at work. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that I was the one. Not at this moment though, he wants to see how far he can go with his best female friend. But once he's done with her, we can be together. FML
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Top comments
JustDerpin 11
I love your username, OP.
MURIKKA 11
The line, he crossed it.
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Comments (98)
Lucia_Malpense 14
Damn... You better run away, fast.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Well, she did say he's "now her ex."
flamegrilled123 3
Overly attached (ex)boyfriend
YoungMisfit 9
One day she'll wake up with a bag over her head in a dark room with her Ex.
kut17 11
Don't cheat on him. Problem solved.
dominic1221 6
Not the point, and the key word's "suspected." Hey, your username means "****" in Dutch. That's pretty fitting.
treychat1 9
Why would you say that negative stuff wasn't needed your comment should have ended at "suspected".
dominic1221 6
Why would you post on FML when you're 11 years old and should be fast asleep in your racecar bed, sunshine?
ShyAnn29 15
6, that wasn't very necessary, don't be rude
Jaxx66 21
Oh my god, when did Carebears enter the FML commenter society?
gantoman 13
48- 6 is just pointing out a fact in ****'s username
Steve95401 49
I don't think any of you picked up that OP referred to him as her now ex-boyfriend.
ShyAnn29 15
52, Carebears? I'm no carebear, I just thought it was rude, but now I'm not sure if 6 was actually calling 2 that, or just pointing out was his username meant. 48, oh ok, thanks for clearing that up!
trollcrusher 17
About the earlier comment, it doesn't seem like anyone born in the 21st century should be using FML.
JustDerpin 11
I love your username, OP.
killdozer1 2
Try this argument: torture doesn't work; your victim will tell you what you want to hear, regardless of whether it's true or not.
MURIKKA 11
The line, he crossed it.
random_jay 6
More like did a running jump over it
sonicgreg 12
No, he did a flying somersault over it and about 20 buses.
gottalovecondoms 0
Your picture fits perfect with your comment.
malfanese 6
He tried to QWOP over it- but just fell on it.
fylx100 19
Good thing you left him. You never know, if he would torture you for cheating on him, then something else you do could trigger him into torturing you. FYL
awsetdvcshjkgss 1
Just be faithful or run away and never look back
boycrazy30007 12
You expect her to either stay with a psychopath or abandon her life and everyone she knows and love?!? Remind me to NEVER take advice from you...
starile 20
Pretty sure 7 meant just run away from the boyfriend. Which OP did, as he is the "now ex-boyfriend".
saIty 17
Oh my gosh. Does he mean the tickle torture? The one where one gets tickled until one ***** oneself?
Welshite 40
BDSM-your boyfriend's version of getting you back. But seriously, don't take people who make threats like that lightly. There are too many crazies out there.
rattusrattus 19
Dude, the whole point is that kink is consensual and enjoyable for all parties. Torture isn't consensual or enjoyable.
Welshite 40
You're right. I was trying to take a bad situation and maybe put a small smile on a few people's faces. Me=fail But I do know where the OP is coming from. My family has been doing interventions for a year between my grandfather and grandmother. 50+ years of marriage and he still threatens to kill her. And he's not playing around either. We had emergency plans set and ready to go if he made any violent move towards her. Still, most of the time, we are unaware of what is going on when they are alone, and what he does to her. Bruises show up mysteriously on her. Cops can't do anything because she denies everything. It's not a good situation for women to get into relationships where the man is ultra-possessive and violent. Cautionary tale, my dears...don't put yourselves in that position.
holymackeral 12
Ten minutes? It took him that long? Ida come to that conclusion in less than 60 seconds!
missamazinggg 12
I'm guessing you're single.
sonicgreg 12
"ms*amazinggg*" I'm guessing you're conceited .
painfullyboring 3
I am hoping they have fml in prison because I don't want someone like you walking the same streets I do!
AlexaWuzHere 31
I'm glad you (I'm assuming because of "ex") left him. Some girls flat out deny that they're in an unhealthy relationship. Good job for realizing what he said wasn't appropriate and dumping him(: