patronuscat?
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
cdn_steed
United States
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
scratchpost
United States
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Robert Herrin
Kinky Crab
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
Anonymous
Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
crazycatlady
Ashland, United States
Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML
Anonymous
Rise and shine
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Alwayspotato
Bittie
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Anonymous
United States
The little things
Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML
Anonymous
Santee, United States
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
Top comments
Glowworm56 27
If I'm not mistaken, alcohol definitely had a hand in this scenario.
mrjiggles1992 18
This is rather common with cats! They are genuinely trying to suckle. It’s not some weird thing they will have taught their cat to do! The FML here is not knowing animal behaviour and instantly being weirded out.
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Comments (21)
tonyfan00 38
Smart cat!
xcllla_ 27
Kinky
Jason Nicholas Dunn 1
Sometimes you lick the pussy, and sometimes the pussy licks you...
musicman_amit 20
pics or it didn't happen