Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML
Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
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Top comments
kleider1 9
Dude. I think she has trust issues
ChickenInMyKitch 4
You gotta wait for that second ring brah
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Comments (477)
nissanman_fml 16
So answer on the second ring next time. Hopefully, your problems will be solved, excluding the obvious underlying one.
rattusrattus 19
The fact that she reads Cosmo? They have articles in there that pander to that kinda shit thinking.
hiyourcute 0
DUMP HER! Wait, that's not the answer to everything?
Michael912 3
It is the answer if you have a crazy gf like that
Ririshi 0
You're not funny btw..
corrinaswan 0
Well answer on the 2nd ring lol Jk but someone has trust issues
GamerMaster2041 12
BITCH DUMP HER you cant find love in that bitch
Radius1 1
Bitch man, you're right bitch. Bitch bitch.
obviousboy 8
Yes. But you can find a ******.
TheyCallmeStacey 9
Happy medium: wait two rings but answer half way into the second ring' if you answer before half way into the second ring it means your thinking about cheating lol
maz_irken 6
She sounds lovely.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Just don't pick up at all. Problem solved.
ConstructorTF2 0
OMG WHERE U GET THAT PIC
TaylorTotsYumm 10
It's a secret.
CoconutSoup 5
I LOL'ed when I saw this. Good one~
homesticker69 0
Agreed!
ElainaCutsYou 0
Don't answer your phone next time.
kelsey_katie 17
Then, the logical answer is to answer in the second ring, or dump her.
maz_irken 6
....logical, eh?
kelsey_katie 17
Or.. The best choice...
sandybaybe 3
She's controlling isnt she.. Tell her to chill and trust you..