Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML
Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
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Top comments
kleider1 9
Dude. I think she has trust issues
ChickenInMyKitch 4
You gotta wait for that second ring brah
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Comments (477)
LizzJizz 16
Ugh, sounds..Clingy..
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Sounds like an angry feminist to me.., or she's just a bitch. Then again what's the difference?
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Away with you troll. Go watch glee, or whatever trolls watch these days.
BelleBelle_fml 11
Seriously. He just accused me of trolling too. But I don't take it seriously. No need to get offended by his lame comments and sad excuse of a person.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Haha you "real men", cause I'm the one that tells people to off themselves over the Internet like I'm a "real man." Your idea of real men must be vacuous. I'm not going to continue arguing pointlessly over this status with you. When you can discourse something like a civil human being, then I will consider you worth my time.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Before this continuous to the pointless void that this will end up at, 1. Belle my IPhone somehow posted that on your status even though i replied to Shrike's first comment, and I already apologized for that happening. 2. Shriek I should have been more clear on this but my status was for radical feminists who think men are not equal, and everything they do is wrong, and offensive, and think women should be superior, and men inferior and not equal.. It was not for feminists who fight for the rights of equality because I firmly believe in human equality regardless of gender. I should have been more clear on that detail.
Azu_nyan 8
Obviously you should answer on the second ring.
rockstar1400 5
Apparently, its time for a new girlfriend!
androiddestroya 7
not worth your time op
BelleBelle_fml 11
Well get it right dude! Nah, in all seriousness, your girlfriend is a nut case. Break up with her but let her down gently, don't want to have to end up getting a restraining order or maybe even moving to another country and changing your name and getting plastic surgery.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Go away troll, I have no more food.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Ugh, this somehow got posted on this status instead of mine. Sorry pedestrian.
BelleBelle_fml 11
Ahh a troll who cannot even troll correctly, how precious.
dallasbracken 0
She be cheating. Been there.
SaRaBby786 0
Jnjii
SaRaBby786 0
J
SaRaBby786 0
im the same way Were just scared and really like the guy.. no need to go all "fml" on her
Just_Peed 0
Birds of a feather:) FLY TO PSYCHO TOWN.
VeganVampyre 27
Yes... but... don't you think that's a just a little excessive, to decide that the length of time he takes to answer the phone means he's either clingy or cheating, as opposed to right next to it or too busy to pick up right away?
BelleBelle_fml 11
Speak for yourself!