Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
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Top comments
Shock98 0
wear an eye-patch. they'll think you're super badass.
wildfire393 0
Pirates are automatic win. Trust me.
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Comments (247)
foryoublue94 0
eyepatch, you'll look like a badass. and if people ask you say something obviously untrue like *stabbed a guy in the eye, he stabbed me back
Isa_Bell 0
Go with the Eye patch, it will make you seem dangerous. :D
willowflame13 0
at least eyepatches are cool, and a great conversation starter
luke_dawg2 0
definitely the eye patch... the girls will love it!
dirtyhippie 0
Team Eye patch FTW! If you are cool about it I think that you will find other people will be too and anyone who makes fun of someone because they have injured themselves is a douche anyway, so at least you will find out who isn't worth knowing. Besides that pirates are damn sexy.
iFruit 0
Cmon! Nows your time to shine! Pretend you're a pirate. To your teachers: "Aargh, Im a pirate! Give me good grades or we can fight to the death!" To hot girls; "Aargh, Im a pirate! Be my girlfriend or you can walk the plank!" To people who mess with you: "Aargh, Im a pirate! Back off, lassie, or we can swashbuckle until victory is mine!" Etc etc.
dancercuity922 0
...I'd go with eyepatch...
definatelywierd 0
did the bee get you while you were sleeping?
cheeseburgerplz 0
YDI for letting the bee sting you, you dumb bitch
montgomery634 0
awwww i'm soo sorry :( it'll get better. but you should defiantly wear the eye patch.....just make sure to explain it to people