Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
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Top comments
Shock98 0
wear an eye-patch. they'll think you're super badass.
wildfire393 0
Pirates are automatic win. Trust me.
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Comments (247)
lolzforfun228 3
Go with the eye patch, everyone will think it's badass. ;)
Meg_Me456 0
so apparently i look like 1. a wirdo wearing an eye patch or 2. a monster at all times of my life. My eye is ALWAYS swollen shut due to a tumor. so oh yes fyl for having it be like that for a few days
Dahlia_F 0
dude, maybe you shouldn't be on FML. or maybe you should just write your own? today, i realized how bitter i am...
letitbe56 0
Seriously. The OP is making a big deal out of nothing. I can understand not wanting to creep people out, but this reads more like a spoiled teenager freaking out about a bad haircut.
Channy94 0
yay eye patch! ... say ur a pirate.. arrrrg. lol
swooshq 0
eye pach! eye patch! eye patch!
i_luv_cheese 0
go pirate
hanny_fml 0
Sucks about your eye being swollen... but you have a legitimate excuse to dress like a pirate. Rock that for everything its worth!
Burv 0
dude. eyepatch. go patch or go home
doubleAbattery 0
Come on. You know that deep down you've always harbored a secret desire to dress like a pirate. Well now you can do so with a perfectly valid reason. It's a dream come true!!
caancoha 0
Jesus, 29, stop being such a negativer Nancy and do us a favour and kill yourself. You're ruining all the fun, damn Debbie Downer.
raulen 0
yea maybe she is being a downer but you also dont need to be an asshole by telling someone to go kill themselves. you may think its funny, but its not funny when you say it to the wrong person. please upgrade your insult arsenal to something a bit more clever and mature.
DncrHap 9
Anyone see the movie "Election"? This exact thing happened to the teacher, Mr. McAllister. Hm.
scarletlily_fml 3
I was just coming here to say the same thing.
DncrHap 9
Win!