Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shock98 0
wear an eye-patch. they'll think you're super badass.
wildfire393 0
Pirates are automatic win. Trust me.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (247)
gemmaFML 0
This exact thing's happened to me. It swells for one day then is almost completely normal the next day. Don't worry.
epsTEinteCH9 0
Wear a pair of aviators. Aviators kick ass and they're big enough to cover the whole eye. You can wear 'em inside too as long as you don't mind being "that jackass that wears his glasses inside"
xEmGai 0
EYEPATCH! :DD
Thutboy 12
Id wear the eye patch
cmac86 24
eye patch. at least they assume you had an accident. and hey if you like pirates you're pretty well set, eh?
Chuckmeister8 0
Dude, wear the eye patch and make up stories about how you ravaged the high seas or got in a bear fight or something. This is a blessing in disguise, because chicks dig dudes with eye patches and that's a scientific fact!
TNEBlover 0
fakee this was in a movie called election
IrishDancer93 0
Eyepatch, and then quote Phil Ken Sebben at random intervals.
sedthsret 0
HA HA HA! Impersonation!
Unit_1004 0
This totally made my day. I love Harvey Birdman
just_a_teen_girl 0
eyepatch, thats hella tight!!!
luyuqian 0
looks like pirate? it's pretty cool... if it's within the permission of the school... bless u~