Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
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Top comments
Shock98 0
wear an eye-patch. they'll think you're super badass.
wildfire393 0
Pirates are automatic win. Trust me.
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Comments (247)
pineapples_fml 5
the pirate look is so in compared to the creepy monster look. i mean, look at jack sparrow vs frankenstein. everyone hated frankenstein and tried to kill him, but they just thought jack sparrow was a total badasss
piddly_03 0
its not so bad, just make up a cool story- good conversation starter to meet new friends. when i was in 10th grade, i got smacked in the eye with a softball while at practice working on bunting. i had to walk around school with a huge black eye and a bump on my eyelid that looked like there was a golf ball underneath it for a month. no sweat.
_MLSBIDGAF 0
True. That would be cool though. If you be a dork and say "Oh, i just got stung by a bee"; then it would be wierd. If you say you became a pirate over the weekend. OR you could always say, "So todays not pirate day?, MY BADNESS !" And get away with it just like that ! *snaps* .. OR you could just be a badass pirate for the week or so. Why the **** not ? ;)
marz88 0
Maybe someone can kick you in the shin and you will be "The Angry Pirate" Urban dictionary it. haha
honeyishrnkdakid 2
Wear the eyepatch. You can make up an awesome back story and everyone will think you're cured. If you look like a monster on day 1, it will be hard to overcome the ostracization even if you look gorgeous after it heals.
shaZamy 0
eye patch no doubt
Aznaflacattack 0
eye patches are cool and mysterious so stop complaining wear the eye patch
RedNeckAndProud 0
my vote is go for the monster... some growling and whatnot wouldnt hurt either..
JinxTheMagician 0
hey at least you know the bee died! :D
thatOMGZguy 0
YARRR BE A PIRATE!!!!! XD
caancoha 0
I like the comparison to a monster. :D
blue_mandie4 0
That sucks! Wear an eye patch, then at least people won't see what it looks like and it'll be a cool story. And if someone does wanna see it, you can show them!