Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got Superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "New pirate" in the office. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I was polishing a ring I made at a jewelry shop I intern at. The ring flicked off my fingers and smashed me in the eye. It only took a single trip to the emergency room to make me pretty sure I won't be getting the job. FML
Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML
Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
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Top comments
chilearmy123 4
Arghhhhh
LaColombianita 26
That sounds very painful! But pirate isn't that bad of a nickname.. At least they didn't call you cyclops or something like that lol.
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Comments (141)
asselhoff 5
First and lol
The_Hitdude 12
#1 That's probably the sound she made when she got the superglue in her eye! Don't you love irony?
The_Hitdude 12
#1 That's probably the sound he made when she got superglue in her eye! Don't you just love irony?
chilearmy123 4
Arghhhhh
Miss_Kristen 10
I bet the old pirate is so happy to have you in the office now!
iliketofu 6
I really hope you're a girl.
waresjake 3
Argh, I still love Yee OP
j_cat187 20
Yo ho a pirate tis thee, You are a pirate!!
shanemaximo 7
The boss was probably impressed seeing what length you go to in order to really sell an excuse for being late.
Wederoney 16
Yohoho and a bottle of rum!
RochelleRedvines 8
I wish I had an excuse to wear an eyepatch.
mockingjaygirl16 8
Oww!!!! that sounds really painful.
LunaDragon 10
That's badass, I wish I could be pirate!
LolUnlucky 12
Put superglue in your eye :)
LaColombianita 26
That sounds very painful! But pirate isn't that bad of a nickname.. At least they didn't call you cyclops or something like that lol.
Jkolbly 11
For some reason this makes me think of spongebob.......
on_the_flip_side 0
Me too!!
skygirl_01 5
at least you're popular at your new job already? :)
babe7260 30
No shit
Jakesterk96 8
False poop.
kakarot2 11
EYE!!!!!!!
DirtyMike911 0
I come to plunder all yer booty!
Torva_fml 16
Just thought of buttsexpirate, lol. :)
littlem91 29
This has to be made up, how would you get the glue in your eye of all places? Fingers yes, eye no.
dbt88 15
I wondered too. Sucks anyway but still wondering.
littlem91 29
To reword my moderated comment, I was wondering how somebody would get Superglue in their eye, as fingers seems normal, eye less so.
j_cat187 20
Dude what did you say?
wittygirl 8
You know you were late. Technically they can fire people for tardiness, at least that didn't happen. I'd prefer the eye issues and a nickname then no job.
Senseless_487 29
Most employers give some consideration for extenuating circumstances, and I think this one qualifies.