Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on a dead bee. The stinger was still intact. How do I know? It stung my foot. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML
Today, while walking to class enjoying the warmer weather, a bee flew down my shirt. I'm allergic to bees so I freaked out and started ripping my clothes off. By the time I was done, I was half naked and there was no bee in sight. Turns out, it was the string on my jacket hood. FML
Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML
Today, I was taking a break in my work truck when I saw a huge swarm of bees flying my way. I have a hand crank window so I started cranking it up as fast as I could and the knob snapped off before it closed and I got stung by the whole swarm before I could get out. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML
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Top comments
cgall123 0
So you forgot to put on gloves before playing with bees, common mistake
lu95 16
Get well soon!
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Comments (71)
lu95 16
Get well soon!
BBGxBlondie 6
Poor bay bee.
zukinihudini 0
This sounded odd the first time I read it, because I thought it said bookkeeper, damn dislexia!
Keyman1212 14
Well, you're lucky you weren't actually allergic to the point of going into anaphylactic shock. Dying would have been a terrible way to start, and end, your new job.
CowOven 7
Now, you can scare people away with your hand. ;D
nixter5 18
That's like a lifeguard forgetting their bathing suit. It's nearly impossible. How could you not remember?
CHAMiLLiTARY_fml 2
Well aint that a "bee"!
R34luver 5
I can picture the bee from DickFigures screaming in the background "IM FREEEE MOTHAFUCKAAAAAS!!!"
aFatFuck 0
Yeah... I don't think he was allergic... When your hands get stung like 'crazy' they will tend to swell up... If you are allergic you'd be dead - also how do you get that job not knowing if you're allergic or not. Take an allergy test
Chazyj 4
76 you just put that in my head I ROFL so much :-p
toastyjustice 5
Rookie mistake.
theal600 2
i see wat u did there
Pixxio_O 11
That would be hard to ********** with... 0.0
andy_l 14
It's still baseball season ... so ...
ShyAnn29 15
85, not everyone knows if they're allergic to bees or not, some people find out when they do get stung, that's how my uncle learned he was allergic to bees
Italiae 7
That would've been good to know...
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
Oh, the irony.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Aren't most people allergic to bee stings anyway? I would figure that to be common knowledge...
mikentrigger 4
Natural selection at It's finest.
Frijolero_92 1
Buzz
jackt2034 0
find a new job??
HomeAl0ne 20
Yeah, good idea. I suggest becoming a neurosurgeon, or perhaps you could defuse unexploded bombs in Iraq. Nothing that requires you to remember anything though, mkay?
boredblonde 17
You didn't put on gloved "bee"cause you're a moron
mariayten 0
I think putting gloves on would be Bee Basics 101. I'm sorry you got stung though. Be more careful next time.
nixter5 18
Ha. Haha. Haaaaa....NO.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Yeah, how do you forget to put on gloves if you're about to deal with bees...? >.>
melij99 5
Dummy
Itstherealjen 0
Bored blond.
bizarre_ftw 22
Anyone want to make the "bored blonde? Don't you mean: bottle blonde" or "brainless" or "Britney-Spears-wanna-be-but-not-intelligent-enough-to-actually-achieve" joke? No.... Hmm.... Really? Okay *shrugs* whatever :/
mynameis1339 0
114: Shut up
cgall123 0
So you forgot to put on gloves before playing with bees, common mistake
CHizzy963369 3
Ya it is. I do it all the time. Sarcasm.
AnagenisisZagus 13
^You and your sarcasm suck.
MXXD17 0
the job makes the man
hiyourcute 0
May I suggest a different career path?
orangeduck 6
Become a professional arm wrestler. With your puffed up hands only a handful can defeat you.
KiddNYC1O 22
Or Nicki Minaj finally found someone to oil her butt.
merrywanna 0
dude, you gotta bee more careful.
cgall123 0
Funky Nugs :)
zukinihudini 0
Nunky Fugs
MangoRico1 1
I know a lot allergic to work
MangoRico1 1
*people