Today, I woke up with my eye swollen half shut. To spare the embarrassment, I asked my mom if I could stay home from school. She said no, but also attempted to make me feel better by saying that with my eye, my acne was unnoticeable. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML
Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML
Today I got a call from my daughter's school, because she claimed that she couldn't see out of her right eye. I panicked and went to pick her up. On the way to the emergency room, she turns to me and says, "I'm fine. I didn't want to take a test." FML
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML
Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML
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Top comments
PolBig123 0
use an eye patch :D it works well to hide your eyes, AND you look like a pirate!! Arrrr!!
mintcar 10
You woke up one day to your ****** almost swollen shut? Almost as scary as ****** with teeth.
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Comments (59)
sterlingarcher 1
what does your eye have to do with acne? lol
DavLynn 4
umm... it distracts from acne...
sterlingarcher 1
ohhhhh...
mintcar 10
Wow 1, just wow.
Finn_the_human 5
Sounds like someone farted on your pillow.
sterlingarcher 1
oh yeah.. I read it wrong.. my bad.. lol
mintcar 10
Out of curiosity, how /did/ you interpret the FML?
sterlingarcher 1
I thought it said with 'one' eye your acne is barely noticeable or something like that. lol
CheckMyProfile 17
ice cubes are miraculously effective while curing swollen eyes :)
Mpsteve13 7
that happened to my ****** once
mintcar 10
You woke up one day to your ****** almost swollen shut? Almost as scary as ****** with teeth.
mintcar 10
You woke up one day to your ****** almost swollen shut? Almost as scary as ****** with teeth.
JFloUnknown 24
almost..but isn't
JFloUnknown 24
almost..but isn't
Thabb 0
Will I get a double post too?
twobig4u 3
^bahaha!!!
Mpsteve13 7
oh yea I love the vaginas with teeth. it scratches my dick. and then the queef is like air conditioning
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha that's not weird at all......^^
nerdytacos 3
haha
IIRoxieII 12
what a great mum
PolBig123 0
use an eye patch :D it works well to hide your eyes, AND you look like a pirate!! Arrrr!!
DavLynn 4
well if you like attention you'll get lots of questions
shoecrazy 5
no offense but your moms messed up OP...
HappyCynic 0
Injure your face, then your eye will be unnoticeable. Problem solved.
skitzofreniks 5
Two FML's in one! not only do you have a black eye, but acne as well, ZING!!
sterlingarcher 1
boop...ZING... (archer) .. :)