Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML
Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
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Top comments
iSmellNice 2
I feel your pain. I love donuts.
Darsa 0
At least you still had your milk :)
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Comments (163)
Hopersz 0
Lmfao thats hilarious lol. Your ******. Lol
amounirl 0
**** dogs... sorry to hear that
wiggs5 0
Hahahahahaha!
kthxbai123 1
Gotta LOCE the doughnuts:)
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lmao haha that's disgusting
pandasingermany 0
sell that stupid dog
chloe2114 4
Well at least you still have the milk...
IHaveSomethingTo 0
I would KILL that mutt
A7Xisthebest23 0
YDI cause dunkin doughnuts is better.
asherah14 7
I'll never understand people who think little fluffy just has to be on the couch with them. My dogs know the couch is off limits for them. It took a lot of training to break the habit for my female since her previous owners taught her nothing. My dogs also know my food is mine not theirs. People really should train all pets what the boundaries are for peace of mind and safety. Change the donut to a hamburger with onions. Onions can be fatal to dogs.
Grayscale 9
Agreed. People who can't restrain their own pets shouldn't have any pet. To OP, If you can't control your dog, what would you do when your dog do this to OTHER PEOPLE?