Animals: Long day

Long day

By Heww - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML

agreeclassic 44 764

vote type 1 5 466

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 21:57 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML

agreeclassic 19 833

vote type 1 4 656

All mine

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML

agreeclassic 85

vote type 1 548

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

agreeclassic 39 385

vote type 1 7 473

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML

agreeclassic 415

vote type 1 246

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

agreeclassic 4 250

vote type 1 457

That escalated quickly

By lonelyharts86 - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

agreeclassic 29 272

vote type 1 3 905

Yummy

By Sisi - 29/08/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

agreeclassic 5 522

vote type 1 11 357

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

agreeclassic 23 821

vote type 1 3 194

Rushed off my feet

By Anja - 05/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML

agreeclassic 115

vote type 1 525

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

agreeclassic 345

vote type 1 163

iSmellNice 2

Monday 28 September 2009 16:12

I feel your pain. I love donuts.

Darsa 0

Monday 28 September 2009 16:18

At least you still had your milk :)

Comments

fatedphoenix 0

Friday 2 October 2009 20:42

YDI for being a crappy pet owner. That dog did several things wrong that he wouldn't have done if you had invested a reasonable amount of time in training it.

Gstone5 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 0:44

the dog mastered the skils of a ninja!!! he stares u down then takes ur shit and storms off lol i agree w u dude FYL i want those treats!!! :)

watchasay71 4

Wednesday 16 December 2009 17:45

YDI for reffering to the krispy kreme as "a delicious Krispy Kreme Doughnut" i mean yea they are good but saying it like that makes you sound pretty cocky in my opinion also you dont need a whole box of them, and your dog seriously needs to be trained mate

foreverblair 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 3:34

hahahahahaha laughing out loud

Toiboxx 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 13:20

Omg I would be so over that dog. Actually I would probably cry. X3 then again I'm not a big dog fan to start, due to various experiences I could relate to yours....