Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML
Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
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Top comments
iSmellNice 2
I feel your pain. I love donuts.
Darsa 0
At least you still had your milk :)
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Comments (163)
chanicol 2
first, train the dog. 2nd ydi for having all ur doughnuts in your lap. im sorry but 11 hours at work does not justify eating more than one doughnut. maybe two. appears like u had a box. should have been on the table or kitchen.
savemycookie 0
And that's why cats are so much better. :) Point proven by the bitch who stole the donut. But yikes, sorry dude. FYL
GruntyGunner 0
Give that dog a nice ass beatingGive that dog a nice ass beating
sjhill 32
umm. eww?
samuel1678 0
why do people put fake stuff on here?
sarah2144 14
Once my dog jumped up on the table, stole my piece of cake, ran under a chair, and ate it. He knows he's not supposed to take food; he just doesn't give a shit.
mrme442 1
LONG'S doughnuts are better
grigri75 35
noooooooo! not the doughnuts :o
kezzamumma 3
Train it
natsaysheyyy 16
Talk about bad training on your end. You shouldn't let a dog just hop up in your lap in the first place. And I'm pretty sure he thought it was cool to snatch food out of your hand because you give him table scraps when he whines, right? Do better training.