Today, I cried myself to sleep. Last night too, and the night before that, and the nights before those. But I guess that’s what life is, huh? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's been four straight nights of terrible nightmares. I’m afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I realized that not only do I dream about sleeping or passing out, but that those are the best ones. FML
Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML
Today, I had a conversation about how my day was, while dreaming. That’s how lonely I am. FML
Today, it’s the fourth day in a row I’ve laid in bed for hours with my eyes shut, wide awake, then watched the sun rise. All my parents have to say is, “Insomnia isn’t real. Just go to bed earlier.” FML
Today, I had to accept that my anxiety affects me 24/7, even when while I'm sleeping. I genuinely can't remember the last time I had a pleasant dream after falling asleep. FML
Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML
Today, I woke up and did the same thing I do at the start of every day: lie in my bed and stare up at the ceiling for who knows how long, all while contemplating how little I've accomplished in my life. Depression sucks. FML
Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML
Today, and like most days, I spend my day pretending to be happy just so other people won’t suspect anything, then as soon as I get home I just collapse on the sofa miserable, and eventually fall asleep only to wake up the next day to do it all over again. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
That sounds like clinical depression, not life.
Yudith 28
Easy homework for you; every night you feel you want to cry, try to get an appointment with a psychologist in the next twenty-four hours. Then, if you made the call, give yourself a pat on the back and a "Atta boy". If you didn't, call a suicide help line. You will have help in no time.
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Comments (3)
Anderling 33
That sounds like clinical depression, not life.
Yudith 28
Easy homework for you; every night you feel you want to cry, try to get an appointment with a psychologist in the next twenty-four hours. Then, if you made the call, give yourself a pat on the back and a "Atta boy". If you didn't, call a suicide help line. You will have help in no time.
Chazzster 32
Even as a man, I have learned that sometimes a cry is what you need to express the feelings you have. But, OP what you are describing sounds like either a very tough situation you are facing or a genuine case of depression or likely both. OP I have been there too. Trust me nothing hurts worse than severe depression - And I have had some very serious surgeries and arthritis that hurt like hell… OP you need help. Usually you start by seeing your regular doctor. If you have had thoughts of self harm that will get you in ASAP. Then your doctor will usually recommend you to a psychologist or psychiatrist. In severe cases they usually prescribe an antidepressant and psychological counseling. Both are needed sometimes - the right medication helps fairly quickly but the counseling has the longest term payoff… If you cannot afford appropriate medical help (n the USA it’s usually covered by medical insurance, but there are copays) then there are other options. Sometimes counseling is available through your work - talk to HR, not your boss. Counseling is usually available through your school. Or if you are a member or attendee of a church or other religious organization they often have counseling available. Be advised that not every patient/psychologist/counselor is a good match. And you have to actually do the things your counselor advises you to to get results… OP, my personal experience is that severe depression is usually triggered by either emotional or even physical pain, though sometimes it’s not clear at first what the trigger was. Counseling teaches you how to handle that and make changes to improve the situation. My experience is modern psychologists do not spend time probing your secret fears - they focus on how you can avoid the cycle of despair… Finally there is sometimes a loss that triggers emotional pain and grief like you describe and it just takes time to work thorough the losses and emotional pain even for someone otherwise emotionally healthy.