Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They kept me locked me for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML
Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML
Today, I ran into my parents' bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door, my parents were on top of each other, laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML
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Top comments
EvilPotato 15
Sex is way better than kids :P you've been overruled.
Aaronftw 0
Sometimes you just gotta take one for team
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Comments (173)
TimysterGates 15
would you rather hear them while you were sitting downstairs?
GodofCarnage 10
hmmmmm, yeah?!
lisaw375 0
go Mom and Dad!!! come on we are old not DEAD!!!
Savra_fml 17
Should have called home, or better still, carried a house key. Key their cars to teach them a lesson. Oh, that's right, you don't have keys. Sorry, take warmer clothing for tomorrow.
Mourningstar 4
Isn't that less traumatizing?
ridder215 7
Freezing weather? It was 14 degrees Celsius today...
chateve 5
Indeed, was OP naked or what? It wasn't that cold in the past few days here in London.
Ins0mau 20
Yeah, 'cause the whole world was 14 degrees Celsius...
Daralea 21
No, not the whole world....but London England was.
bubo_fml 11
Doorbell? I won't even ask if your house has knockers!
afulks78 11
:)
hbcbmx 5
:))
screamo_neve 12
Pointless?
False_Stupidity 42
:)))
iMissFloppyDisk 0
Well maybe if you went out with friends more often, they wouldn't have to lock you out! People your parents have sex also, it's completely normal!
JinxosGirl87 0
It's impossible for my divorced parents to have sex from over 1,000 miles away. ...or is it?? :O
captainfalcon7 0
well on the bright side you might have a little brother/sister soon!
perdix 31
Over an hour!?!?! Old people gonna love you long time!
s0m3guy2010 21
Let's just hope no one pulls out a boom box and hits the turbo bass.
perdix 31
Or the Victrola and the 78's! That would be the cat's pajamas ;)
s0m3guy2010 21
You can't have sex and do the Charleston at the same time. Believe me, I think we've all tried at one point or another.