Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
EpicSquishii 21
I'd get a doctors note if I were you. Just to be sure your boss knows that it's legit. Hope you feel better, OP. Try and stay hydrated.
KatieMajestic 17
You jinxed it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
Schiffy 18
If you're friendly enough with him to joke around, I'm sure he'd understand if you actually DID get food poisoning.
TheDrifter 24
Or who believe in the jinx.
hawkknight 24
Thats when you get a doctors note like #1 said, or you just send in a picture of what came out, with your face near it.
starile 20
Bosses love those toilet face pictures!
Axipiter 24
I actually had to save my money at the job I hate to get my dream job. I'm almost at the point where I can relax a bit, and just enjoy life. The last ten years, I've worked my ass off. It's within arms reach now, but it hasn't come easy. Effort in USUALLY equals satisfaction out. There are always extenuating circumstances. But even I can admit when I've had a bit of luck on my side. Sorry for the life story, I just figured these comments could use a bit of inspiration, as opposed to the usual "times are tough" reality.
Axipiter 24
Sorry, I just realized this comment is probably more appropriate to the one about the quarter. My bad, folks.
arees4 10
I hate when that happens !
Taurus_ChicKa 37
This is why you NEVER joke about getting sick with your boss. Karma will come back and bite you in the ass. Or, in this case, stomach, considering it's being emptied from both ends. Still, FYL because food poisoning is no picnic.
kandy420 4
karma...
lil_mars 1
Take some Immodium or Pepto Bismal and get to work.
peacejunior 12
And that is ladies and gentlemen how OP came to understand the secret.